Listening to Sad Songs

Do you ever listen to music as you are working? I guess I picked up this pseudo bad habit during my school days… whenever I was as at my desk doing my homework, my radio would be situated by my side. As a result, I think I paid more attention to whichever DJ was on “Say it with Music” or the YES 93.3 equivalent, then I did to my ‘A’ Maths, ‘C’ Maths, Stats…

Somewhere down the road, I learnt how to treat music as a background noise, something which I needed to have on, but which I learnt to not place my full attention on. I soon found that I could actually work better with rather than without the music on. In a way, it actually helped me to let my thoughts “flow”. Having my own cubicle / room in the past couple of jobs meant that I was allowed to continue listening to music whilst I worked… Imagine my chagrin as well as discomfort when I realized that my current job did not afford me the same liberty. There was definitely some big adjustment required.

It’s January, and being the audit peak, there’s been a slight strain on our staff resources. As such, I find myself working on my own right now, at the client’s meeting room. This solitude has had it’s advantages, (a) I find myself actually being more productive as there aren’t the little distractions that colleagues pose, and, (b) I get to “blast” music once again…

So there I was typing away, figuring out how to complete the cumbersome “Risk Control Matrix” template, when a certain song started playing. Anyone who has taken a look at my CD collection at home, or the myriad of songs in my lapppie would realize that I have a penchant for (a) Chinese Songs, (b) Oldies and (c) sad songs. I just randomly shuffle the songs and most of the time I don’t even realize what I’m listening to anymore. So, I was kinda taken aback when I had that oh so familiar tugging of the heartstrings / heart wrenching feeling… that kind of, “oh wow, this makes me just feel like crying” kind of feeling. And I guess it brought back with it a rush of emotions. I think that the power of songs is that they combine stirring melodies with lyrics that a listener can totally relate to… that’s why so many people go for a big roaring sing-a-long session at the karaokae during a break up, and also, during a celebration.

Anyways, sitting in the room, listening to the song, working… well well… it was a little like déjà vu. And it did make me miss some of my ex collegues whom I consider friends… guess we’ve drifted apart with time, as everyone has left and are pursuing their own separate careers. We hardly ever meet up anymore, and even when we do… there really isn’t much opportunity to play catch up. When I look back and I realize how much of myself I used to show to them, I guess I cannot help but feel kind of sad that we’ve lost that feeling of familiarity. I guess this is part and parcel of life, and people just move on unless effort is made. Oh well… it’s the song… it’s making me weepy.