Complete

Think the two week "Break" enabled me to accomplish most of the loose ends. Spent alot of time with the gang... (Little Bunny, can you please go google that very interesting "joint" at TP?), spent some time with the family, managed to spring clean my house into something remotely decent, visited I's study (love the home concept, can almost feel myself studying there), hung out with some other peeps... all in all, mission accomplished.

January is going to be busy as a bee work wise (I completely shut down for 2 weeks doing the bare minimum), of which the bulk of it is going to be spent in Manila. Crossing fingers that I will be able to come back after 3 weeks, and that it does not stretch into February... Lots of discussions and decisions to be made in the coming month... *cross fingers*

Looking down my list of things... only two (major) items outstanding... to see Baby E before he turns 1, and something other.

Ice cube in the sun

Random thought that just crept into my mind in the midst of my sleep. Clear enough for me to remember it the next morning. Can almost feel the excruciating pain (only applicable if ice cubes are capable of feeling)

There are individuals in this world who thrive on putting others into such situations.

One of those periods in life where I really wish I could have someone to lean on. The 小女人 in me must be creeping in again.

Changes

Hectic two months and now finally a time to slow down and enjoy being with friends and family. Even the trip to the Maldives felt kinda squeezed in admist all the deadlines and "to dos" that were never really very far away. In some ways, this job has really been quite stressful, but somehow, I do seem to be better at dealing with it. Maybe I've grown up.

Some reason, not having much luck with the spending quality time with friends and family bit. Not even too sure if it's me or everyone else, or the festive season making one and all cranky. Or maybe it's me reading too much into things... and reading crankiness and grumpiness into everyone. Could that be a guilty reaction? i.e. guilty of not spending enuff time and therefore reading grumpiness? In this period of two months, a "detached" feeling seems to have taken over, and it seems as though it has cascaded down to all my different "-ships".

One of those periods where I fully understand the meaning of 心有余而力不足, there's so much which I want to accomplish, so many things that require my attention (e.g. S's hen party / wedding which I have not even started preparing for), and just so little of me. Had dinner with mum tonight, and for the first time in weeks I saw her smile. But that required sis and me trying our best to get all preps ready, and to pre-empt her requests. Sometimes I wonder, what is it about me that always lands myself in these situations? When can I have my "off" day where I don't behave as I am expected to? Ponders.

With me wanting to sleep 10 hours a day (yes, the pig in me has returned), I am struggling with trying to prioritze my wishes vs. that of others. Really do want to find time to do that spring cleaning which has been hanging at the bank of my mind and bugging me for the longest time. Wish I could just find a way to decide which things in life are important to me and which aren't, and to just leave those extras be. Patience. Perseverence. I know I will sort things out. Will finally find the time to hang out with J & T, will visit I's office, will spring clean, will clear bills, will make the bookings for S's big night, will finally clean up the Pinoy accounts and will give everyone who is willing to spend time with me some quality bits of me.

If that's the amount of stuff that I am going to carry forward to 2010, I wonder what the next year will be like?

I want to mean something, and feel that I do... don't we all?

The Biggest Loser

I am strangely addicted to this show. Maybe it's coz weight seems so much more hefty when it's mentioned in pounds. On many a morning at home (and nights in the hotel) I find myself tuning into the hallmark channel and gasping away. How can anyone weigh 400 pounds! Wow... and lose 200 pounds in 12 weeks! Okay, so maybe it was the good "TV producing" etc, but the weight loss process seemed to be alot of hard work, and oh so painful. With each episode, I can almost feel my "abs" aching... and not luxurating in my two scoops of ice cream.

I know what draws me to this show. Find it super inspiring. And a true reflection of life. To lose weight and to feel better about oneself, there's often a lot of determination, a lot of will power, even sweat and tears. It's also so much easier to just let oneself go, to go back to that comfort zone, even with the knowledge that one was not happy. Mayhaps, better the devil that one knows? Think the contestants show that we all do have it in us to pull oursleves up and move on. 400 pounds! Imagine! Even walking must be an enormous task.

P.S. Realised that whilst my stomach muscles are still able to withstand situps and crunches, I can no longer do push ups!

Utilization

This title would take on a whole different meaning were I still in a "professional firm"... but...

2 weeks... that is how long my current company took to make an "urgent" payment from US to UK in HKD. And just in case you thought it was because there was no sense of urgency, I counted at least 40 emails following up on this payment... and this included emails from the VP Finance, the CFO, the FC, etc. I would have found it highly hilarious if the matter wasn't of such an "urgent" nature, and if I was not to be held responsible for their actions across the continents.

So 2 weeks after, you would think the payment by Treasury would have been sorted out. But no, payment was rejected by UK bank as there was no corresponding HKG bank account. *Faints* Last I checked, we were a multinational.

Next holiday destination

Just read MT's "best days of the year" trip, and could really sense the "longing" for those good old days. And the BEB seems to have only fond memories of Brissie as well. Times like this... I do admire them for being able to have spent some prolonged time abroad (no, 3 weeks stuck in Pinoy land does not count). Since there seems to be so much a-chilling to do, mayhaps it's a worthy place to consider for my next holiday?

承认

This has got to be a really old song... but I heard it for the first time today. Really liked the lyrics, and the rendition that I heard (have not heard the original) was touching indeed.

承認
承認吧 對我還有好多感覺
只是你不敢再虧欠 要不就這樣算了吧
就這樣散了吧 至少你不毓d負了她
這些我都從無埋怨 先給愛的人並不可憐
早知道最後的結局 多落的分離
我是有理由不死心塌地 我當然不恨你
也從來不怨你 溢桮菑ㄦQ你
雖然是曾經也是唯一 若要忘記
兩三年就可以 我打算不見你
也決計不尋你 也已經不想你
只要是偶爾回首過去 在記憶裡
還有甜蜜 能這樣就可以
承認吧 對我還有好多感覺
只是你不敢再虧欠 要不就這樣算了吧
就這樣散了吧 至少你不毓d負了她
這些我都從無埋怨 先給愛的人並不可憐
早知道最後的結局 多落的分
離誰又該傻得去死心塌地 我當然不恨你
也從來不怨你 溢桮菑ㄦQ你
雖然是曾經也是唯一 若要忘記
狠下心就可以 我打算不見你
也決計不尋你 楛q此不想你
只要是偶爾回首過去 在記憶裡
還有甜蜜 能這樣就可以
我當然不恨你 也從來不怨你
也已經不想你 雖然是曾經也是唯一
若要忘記 狠下心就可以 我打算不見你
也決計不尋你 不願意再想你
只要是偶爾回首過去 在記憶裡
還有甜蜜 能這樣就可以

If you're not the one

One of those days when a song ambushes you, and creeps in... I had no idea what the title was, could not remember the lyrics, but yet the melody kept playing over and over. Not even sure that I like it, but it was bugging me, so much so that I had to search for the lyrics. Now that I've found it, time for me to get back to work!

If you're not the one - Daniel Bedingfield

If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call?
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all?

I never know what the future brings
But I know you're here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this **much** is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I'm praying you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side

I don’t wanna run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

Loving you

fully truly
it it so hard to accept?