Random - Is giving up running away?

So I had that all important conversation with my boss. And when the sheer pressure of the week finally departed, was feeling really proud of myself. I know that accepting this job was always a mistake. Did it for the wrong reasons, and could never shake myself out of it. Had too many dreams at that point of time. But yet I was pretty steadfast about it. And now year 2 of QR has passed. And I know that I actually passed decently. But in speaking to my boss I have broken my own "bowl". He has his own political agenda that he needs to achieve. But I anticipated that as well. So why do I not feel so brave now? Coz by holding my tongue just that much longer I could have paved something for myself? Haha... After so much of thought, time to just let the heart take over.

Had a really interesting conversation with MT the other day. Put two of us together and we managed to chat for a solid 4 hrs, till we got chased out / nicely asked out from the shop. Talked about living with the unexpected, of finding true love, of the "capacity" to cheat. Haha. And of only being able to do "this much for one girl". Thanks dear for staying up with me, always wonder why I leave off meeting for so long. Hope you had a great time in Aussie.

Miss the new dad... he's pretty much disappeared from my radar. I know I'm supposed to go a "baby-visiting", but then wouldn't it remind me of what I do not have? *cheeky grin*

Reflecting... Recollecting

Gave my blog addy to someone recently... cannot even remember when was the last time I did that. Thanks to him, I ended up reading some of my old posts... interesting how my thought patterns have changed... but then again, a leopard never truly changes its spots, so certain things will always remain close. 

Whilst reading all that I wrote, couldn't help but feel that my very first post still remains very much applicable. Writing things down does really help me to straighten up my thoughts, and yes, my emotions. Looks like words will still always remain a large part of my life. 

The Bad Mature Guy

I finally got cable!!! Yes, juvenile, but I have been "dreaming" of having cable for the longest time ever. So... I was watching a chinese drama serial on tv, and the current episodes were dealing with a very tangled up relationship. In short, a senior partner at the law firm (the typical playboy) was trying hard to "seduce" this younger married spoilt female lawyer. Apparently, he had once tried to chase her but was rejected for being a playboy? How typical... Anyway, the episode ended with the female filing for divorce despite the objections of her family members, etc. Jules resolutely refused to watch the show after the first half hour... the reason? Coz the viewer would get infuriated watching the plot progress... and become increasingly alarmed as the scenario painted on screen could really, just really, happen in real life. 

For me, I admit I was hooked. On the one hand, I really wanted to stop watching coz I knew it would end in a divorce... on the other, I couldn't help marveling at the way the older mature man was manipulating the younger woman. And yes, I was wondering if he was chasing her coz he was just relishing the challenge, or coz he really liked her. Would he ditch the gal once the divorce is finalised...  guess I would have to continue watching to know. 

Does reel life mirror real life? In terms of Singapore television dramas... more often not. In this case, I think I have seen similar scenarios often enough... Last night, could not help but remember "A"... scarily, I could not help but run the parallels between him and the male protagonist. And I think it was his desire to live his life "dramatically" that resulted in him doing alot of the things he did... the constant need to find some challenge to amuse himself. Could not help but wonder how he is now, and whether he finally managed to find some peace in his life, or is he still continuing his hunt of young fragile prey. Hmmm.. why is it that often people choose not to take the contented path? ponder ponder.