Someone is Preggers

Am still a tad in shock... okay, so unlike the marriage announcement, this time round, it was semi expected since she has been announcing her intentions for a while now... but, I am still in shock. Just always a little difficult thinking of a close friend as you know... a MOTHER. :) But anyways, am happy for her. Congratulations dear. Guess you have some pretty tough decisions to make in the next few weeks... guess I can only say, all the best?

I wonder how this will change the group dynamics...

It almost feels like audit

Have been having a really busy time at work lately... mayhaps it is because my boss is trying to "test" my capabilites, but the result is that I have been putting in the hours. My standard day has been as such: At work (8am to 8pm); travel home (8pm to 9.30pm); send emails (10.00pm to 11ish / 12ish)... in fact, I managed to send my last email only at 3am on Friday / Saturday.

For a while... it felt like I was back in audit again... the no night no day kind of feeling... and like that period in my life, I tell myself that there is a light at the end of this tunnel... am due for a break after CNY, and if that is not sufficient, this project will end by April... so, it just calls for a little endurance. Of course, April itself comes with it it's own initiative... but I do feel as though I am treading on dangerous ground from now till then... there's so much that can / may fall apart...

A Missing Pillar

So things have not been going all that well lately, what with failing lappies, stolen handphones, increased workloads and some back stabbing... was feeling a little down and stressed and started reaching out for the usual pillars of support only to find out that it has gone missng.

Thankfully, another pillar popped up out... thanks dear for asking me out for drinks tonight... think I needed it more than I let on. Even though it meant hanging out with people that I've not met before, I really did have fun and managed to put all the unpleasant stuff aside. So we did not get drunk, but you guys did make me laugh lots... and reminded me that there is lots more to life than just chasing after corporate goals. So at the very end, I did manage to achieve letting go, and being manja and all... which was something that I was unable to achieve by myself.

And it aslo reminded me why we have been friends for so very long, through ups and downs, and periods where there was little contact. At the end of the day, with you, there is no need to pretend to be someone that I am not, nor to be strong and resiliant at all times... after all, you know what a nerd and softie I really am :) Funnily, mayhaps it was because of that very attitude, there was also no need for me to bitch nor whine to feel better. Thanks dear!!! Hopefully, you know that I will be there too!

A Lunch that brings back the past

So I had lunch with WT, CK and CY. Was just a simple thing at some vegetarian place at Suntec. Have not really met them, or had a conversation with them in a long long time… to think that these were like my breakfast kahkis from a time long ago. I think if someone were to take a photo of us and compared it to the various snapshots taken those years back, there will be some marked differences. For starters, we used to be a lot younger… now it’s a more mature bunch, and we are definitely dressed more professionally these days… no more t-shirts, jeans, slippers, short sleeved mismatched shirts.

Sitting there, could not quite help but think that I no longer have much to talk to them about. Have I changed that much? Whilst we caught up on the gossip… okay, it was more them telling me about what has happened with the entire group, and me shocking them with the news of my marriage… it was a tad bit disconcerting. I no longer know these people, yet I was once close to them. I guess it was a conscious decision on my part. The rest of them continued to keep in contact in spite of all the job changes, they made it a point to make time for each other. In fact, WT is going to be the best man for CK’s wedding!!! For me, a misunderstanding that occurred back then made me drift away, and after, it just seemed as though I could no longer fit back in. Of course, with each job switch, it became easier and easier to just disappear.

Looking back… CK really will always stay in my mind as the first and until now only guy person who has raised his voice at me in a work environment. Will never quite forget that I suppose… or my totally blurred reaction as I stared at him blankly… and in front of so many people!!!

As for M, well, am glad to know that M & M are still together. After all he was the cause of all that misunderstanding. With him flying all about and me playing the disappearing game, cannot even quite remember what he looks like anymore. Hmmm… mayhaps I will be hearing wedding bells from them soon? It should be one of those match made in heaven… prettiest gal weds most handsome boy. I hope that he has managed to put all the unhappiness in his life away. And I still think that he is one of the most capable people I have met… and totally totally suited for operations work.

Funnily enough, despite the distance, they were talking about being invited to my wedding… and I guess, if the space permits it, I will try to do so. For now, will try and make it for more of the group outings. After all, it’s been so many years, and they have always made the effort to contact me, it’s time I reciprocated by doing the simple act of turning up?