Thankfully, there are not many

days like this... but today is definitely a classic. A day where I am so glad that I earn my own keep. That, contrary to the many judgemental eyes, I can declare that I do contribute my own share to this household.

Am sure many other gals out there feel the same. Where relatives and friends alike blame the "non production" of an offspring on the female. That the sole "burden" of upkeeping a household rests on the male... and the female just sponges off. The actual income brought in is of no regard, "fact" remains, the male is the one who upkeeps, the female the nurturer.

It's not the first time that I've heard these remarks... but it's definitely one of those days where I take offense to them. But then again, is it really right? Maybe they are founded after all. Maybe it's just me, maybe I'm just that unattractive.... after all to nurture and procreate is the responsibility of the female? Or are we just reading pages from a different book altogether?

And then there's that moment where you sense that he believes in it too. That no matter what, the female is the less knowledgeable of the two. That despite the fact that I've spent the better part of my month in some foreign country, some part of it is my own doing, and that it's really not required, and it really does not mean anything. Except that I'm kinda useless, ineffective at the things that matter, and unattractive. *Ouch*

Days like this, I so dread the coming festive period. I wonder, what would happen, if, and only if, my tongue runs away from me, and I say:

"Yeah, you are right, check out my $25,000 Hermes crocodile bag, and to think I only earn $1500 a month, see how much he dotes on me", or;

"How did you know? We can't have kids because when I was in my teens I had 5 abortions"...

or something equally bizarre... I must admit, the troublemaker in me does sometimes itch to surface.

Year has not started well at all. Last couple of weeks have been difficult. Somewhere inside me I know it's not logical, but just not today. This particular hour... just want to dig my own hole and wallow.

But then again, I know not all is gloom. Managed to finally spend some time with MT, bonding over Roger and Justine. *hearts* Managed to spend time with S&S, chilling over wine. Positivity, when things appear bleak. Take heart, dear heart... that is the motto of the strong female.