Quite Hopeless

So it's been almost a week here in Shanghai... and unfortunately, it's one of those days where I start doubting my own abilities to do good work. From the first day of my work life, I guess I've always suffered from attention deficiencies... I cannot seem to get my teeth down into a task until, well, the deadline is near. But most times, I would have already grasped an understanding of the task at hand, and often, it's alwasy a matter of documenting down what I've understood.

My current task at hand... the client's physical stock balances can never agree with the books. And woohoo, I've been assigned to "figure out why". It's a manufacturing company, so the goods travel from one production phase to another, and I'm supposed to figure out the process. Unfortunately, this time round, I really feel my language deficiency. I can't manage terms like Purchase Price Variance, Standard Cost, Manufacturing variance... hell, I cannot even fully comprehend the workings in English, what more Mandarin. So yes, I've floundered for a week, and when I tried to take stock of what I've learnt... I drew a blank. Yes, I have my "guesses" as to where the stock has gone to... but I cannot substantiate it, worse still, my understanding of the process could be all wrong...

Somewhere in the middle of yesterday I suddenly felt as though I'm so not suited for this job. It was after a very defensive discussion with the client. He's the Logistics manager... and therefore, the person who is supposed to be in charge of the inventory. I tried voicing my guesses... and well, he said no to every one of them... is it true? I dunno. If I were in his place, I'll be defensive too! After all, his job is on the line. Sighs... do I really want to do something that cost others their job?

Shanghai Again

Yes, am back in Shanghai again… almost a year after my first visit, but the feel this time round is very different.

Instead of staying in the city centre, this time round we’re staying in the “Woodlands” equivalent of Shanghai. Admist the factories and the farm land, there’s a causeway point-ish area, and that’s where I am staying. Every cab driver has gotten lost in a bid to send us to our hotel, and has described our location as the “农村”.

Being wary of the fact that I would not have easy access to my chocolates, and other yummies, I jam packed my suitcase full of eatables. Imagine my surprise when I realised that even in "Woodlands" there seems to be plenty of “Carrefour” looking supermarkets around. I just bought my Lays Cucumber flavoured potato chips… must say it’s an acquired taste though… cannot say I love it as yet.

In theory, this trip is supposed to be super busy for me… but for some reason, I can’t seem to get myself immersed in the job… maybe things will be better tomorrow, but for now, I am just feeling determinedly lazy. Mayhaps I should have taken the offer a couple of weeks ago… after all, if I was interested in considering it, doesn’t it mean that I’m bored with my current work? I don’t know… am I just always just looking for excitement?

Well, whatever it is… time enough to think about it when I am back in Singapore… For now, it’s slog away, else I’m never ever going to “deliver”.

P.S. the weather is super duper cold this time round... and I have NO clothes to wear. I have never been so glad to wear stockings and open toe shoes... am glad that at the eleventh hour, I decided to pack them in my suitcase "just in case".

玩意

我的荧光穆上都是中文字。所以就想与中文写个稿。 上海的天气真得很冷。还没来之前， 天气预告指天气会是十九度，但这两天却下降到九度，真是无法忍，又没带够衣服。

原来有中文写稿是需要个技巧， 但我还没学会，所花费的时间真得太长了。剩余的还是用英文写得好。

It's time ... to let go

Been carrying on this torch for the longest time
For something undefined, unperceptible
It could be a smile, a kiss, or just that warm touch,
That feeling of contact, physical or mental
I just don't know
Having harboured it for oh so long
It's diffcult to say "let it go"
But rational as I am
wherein the gain in holding on?
Some say that every thing fades with time
And so I've patiently bided mine
But perhaps because it was always an intangible
I just cannot seem to feel it's "disappearance"?
Unbeknowst to me, it surfaces time and again
And I am left with the feeling of wanting

Rushing for...

Have not posted anything for a while, simply because I have been very very busy! The big deadline was on 31 March, and I am proud to say that we've more or less met it! Am immensely grateful for my team, they have been great, and have contributed aplenty. No matter the outcome (i.e. Japan's verdict on our work quality), I think that they have done a splendid job. Considering that at the end of the day, they have been working late nights, weekends, etc without any form of appreciation (monetary or time off), they have been making alot of sacrifices for this assignment. Well, I guess that's what team spirit is all about.

Besides work, socially, it has been a pretty busy period as well. Since moving back to RP, have caught up with quite a few people, attended my first wedding as a married person (amazing how this actually affects my attitude during weddings), heard alot of stories (some good, some bad). For some reason, there have been alot of thoughts wondering about in my head this period, mayhaps it was a reaction to things that others have told me, mayhaps it was my own reaction to being so busy... you know, when everything is going upheaval around you, it's difficult to actually pinpoint your thought process... miss blogging, and it's ability to slow me down.

Well, the job deliverables should be more or less met in one week's time... finally! Next up, China and more China... hopefully, will have time to sort out my thoughts in between.

For now, a few "shout-outs":

Ms Devil - am glad your obstacle at work has been removed. Hope that your refound interest in your work is sustainable! Maybe at the end of the day, it really was all about her and not the job!

Icarus- am glad that you shared what happened with me. Let's try to meet up more often! Am not sure if it will help, but at least I know that I enjoy your company. :)

MT - I know you've asked me out for beer a couple of times and I really really could not make it... sorriez... I promise to meet up once this crazy period is over!