A Little About Dating (or of Men?)

So I have been in this new job for almost two months… and it really does has its interesting portions, one of which is the constant flow of new people that I get to meet.

On my current assignment, I am working with TY… and with him being newly married to his girlfriend of >10 years (!!!), we’ve of course been filling in all our spare hours with talk of dating, wedding preparations and marriage.

One conclusion that I cannot help but to reach… relationships that blossomed in our teenage years (puppy love) are really so much the sweeter. Have had this entire conversation with TL before over msn, and he was of the opinion that we just don’t realize when guys do “sweet” (aka Ben Affleck) stuff anymore… However, I still humbly beg to differ. Guys at our age just aren’t as sweet… perhaps circumstances are different, perhaps they are more practical, but whatever the reason, the feeling of being “romanced” is very much discounted the older we grow. Perhaps that is why the rest of us gals always feel that a certain A does indeed have strong feelings for S… coz he still bothers to surprise her and be “sweet”.

So is it the age that we start dating or is it just Men? I would like to think that girls still like being “romanced” even as they age, and even as the relationship progresses. I for one am a sucker for guys who open doors, little sweet texts in the course of a day, compliments when you make the effort to dress up for a date, and yeah… the process of even going for a date! These days, every outing is either an errand or a chill out session with friends… what happened to dates!!! Remember the good old days when a guy would make reservations at a restaurant, pick you up in the borrowed car, bring you for a nice dinner, spend time talking to you, and then thanking you for a marvelous time after? Well, I doubt that even Mr. S whom prides himself for being rather gentlemanly and romantic does that to Ms. E anymore…

But I figure that to guys all this romancing is part of the chase, and not of the relationship. And with relationships happening by itself as one grows older, there really is a lot less “chasing” involved. Think about it… when we were in our teens, it could take like a month before a guy digs up the courage to ask a gal out… these days it happens in 5 minutes over msn. :) Now dates are disguised in various forms, perhaps it takes away the nervousness, but it also does reduce the “specialty” of it all.

Haha… think that I’ve succeeded in sounding like a bitter and disgruntled old woman at this point of time. However, thankfully for every couple of wham bang, thank you mam kind of dates, there will be a few people like TY who believe in old fashioned kneel down proposals, or people like my lunch “date” for today, who believe in meeting you at your office rather than directly at the canteen… (ha, but then again, he is young)

Missing Some Old Friends

Perhaps it has to do with being in this little secluded part of Singapore (read: Changi); and going back to yet another little corner of Singapore (read: my home), but I had this sudden moment where I kind of craved company, and realized that I have been neglecting a certain group of friends. My typical day / week has been revolving around work, family, Jules and a bunch of friends that I NEED to meet on a weekly basis… if not more. But by and large, this meant that I’ve had little pockets of people that I know I should be trying to meet up with, but I cannot quite seem to set time aside for.

Why do I hang out with my little group of friends so often? Hmmm… I guess in the end it is because I am really most comfortable with them, and since the group is relatively large, impromptu lunches, dinners, drinks can take place on a as and when basis. Appointments with other people on the other hand, need to be slightly more contrived. It requires both parties to be “in the mood” for a catch up session or other. :) I suppose each of us have priorities, and I too have often been guilty of preferring to meet with my lil’l gang / my parents / Jules rather than socializing with other friends… until it comes to one of these days… I guess.

Met T for dinner yesterday. As usual, when I am out with him… it’s a lot of fun… on an “intellectual” level. Hmmm… if I were to be made to put it into words, I suppose I’ll just say that we are on the same wavelength when it comes to interests, expressions and are just able to understand each other. It’s not just intelligence that is important, but when it comes to conversations, at times you need to be able to understand the mannerisms, behaviors of the other party, in order to best enjoy time spent together. Gibberish? Well, I suppose this is something that only “kindred spirits” can understand… or I simply just have a non existent ability to put feelings into words. Well, suffice to say that it was an enjoyable evening (Jules came along later), and I’ve found yet another little watering hole!

That one outing just kind of reminded me of the other people whose company I’ve enjoyed and would like to hang out with… ex colleagues, friends from university days. Just people that you’ve always promised to try and catch up with… At this day and age, it’s not really that easy to make new friends, it’s a pity to lose contact with the old ones… and I guess now that I’m faced with the prospect of spending a good amount of time out of the country, the more so these folks are missed. Used to be that msn was a good way of staying in contact with these people, but in times like this where I have no internet access… perhaps I do need to put in some effort to try and catch up with them after all!

A Little of the Old

So… my first full day at Airline House… all I remember of this place was my visit to a certain warehouse many years back. The tedium of the police checks, the cramped warehouse. Yet, Airline House brought back with it a certain sense of familiarity. For a moment this morning, I could not quite place it. After all, this place should be foreign ground, why was it that I felt so vaguely comfortable? Then it hit me… this reminded me of my days of old, doing warehouse operations. Striping aside the “glamour” of the aviation industry, at the end of the day, we are back to basics… and it’s still a logistics environment. Chunks of empty space, 1970s office interior, a predominantly aged workforce, with its token young staff to handle all the IT related work. Even the office canteen with its 50cents coffee brings back memories.

Walking along the long stretches of corridor in my T-Shirt, pants and open toe shoes (dress down!)… I felt quite at home here. In a way, time has suddenly slowed down. To a certain extent, the toughest part of this assignment will be to handle my boss… and of course, to get my interviewees to understand the purpose behind my assignment… Talking to the various control owners was not an issue… they felt like colleagues to me... and soon we were chatting away about the problems that come with day to day operations, and the fire fighting that is inevitable in an operations environment. However, when we came to the crux of the matter, mainly, what is the main objective of the job, and what are the controls in place… we were both temporary stumped. And it did strike me that even now, with my supposed understanding, I would be hard placed to put to words what I did during my ops days, and what were the so called “controls” that were in place then to ensure that I did my job well.

After all, life as an operations executive… if someone down the line does not screw up… I will have nothing to do. :) But there are really no controls in place to ensure that people down the line do not screw up. It’s a sad fact… but paperwork is often done as an after effect, almost never simultaneously with the physical inventory flow. It doesn’t come as a surprise to me than that so many of the big corporations are susceptible to fraud.

As I type, am kind of missing the days of old… the laid back environment, the adrenaline that comes from all the fire fighting, and the sense of accomplishment every time a “fire” is put out… but would I ever go back to such a job? Am not really sure… in a certain way, each step that I have taken since a year ago has been a step further... Cannot quite say that I am not enjoying what I do now, just a sense that it is different, and a little sense of loss...

Garlics and Sapphires

Yippie... thanks to the public holiday, it's yet another long weekend... and... because I am sort of in between assignments... it is a relatively free weekend. And after the string of activities that I had lined up in the last month, it is a welcome break indeed. But, it is kind of the last weekend I have before the rush kicks in... with all the travelling that is slated to come... so in a way, this is my little brief respite.

So, what did I do over this weekend? As can be expected... I visited my fav bookshop, and grabbed a couple of books. Being wary that time may not be on my hands anymore... I went for "quality" not "quantity" this time round. This meant that I rented a couple of expensive books ($22 each) instead of my usual paperbacks ($15 each)... and I left with 8 books rather than 12. And boy was I rewarded... I spent the whole of this morning reading this newest gem:

Garlic and Sapphires - Ruth Reichl
What is it about? It details a pretty well renowed food critic's stint in the New York Times... and takes us through her various escapades in the many restaurants. And foodie that I am... I think I've been salivating at the myriad of dishes that have been presented... I could almost just taste the food. *yummy* and not to mention the star treatment. The highlights in the book for me are the parts where she lifts from her column, for example:

In Japan an expensive object is prized because of its price. This explains why people actually buy those$100 melons you sometimes see in Tokyo. It also explains why all my Japanese friends are so taken with Honmura An. "Very expensive soba?" they ask when they hear of the Soho noodle parlor. "They must be good."

They are. The buckwheat noddles knows a soba have been eaten in Japan for 400 years. As soba restaurants multiplied, the Japanese urge for perfection set in, and soba masters began competing to see who could make the purest soba. This is not easy. Buckwheat is extremly nutrutious, but it resists turning into malleable dough. Ordinary soba noodles are made mostly of wheat: to make pure buckwheat noodles that do not shatter and crack apart requires the hand of a true master. The Japanese says it takes a year just to learn to mix the dough, another year to learn to roll it, a third to learn the correct cut.

At this point... I am dreaming of that exact same soba... but then again, I am just greedy.

Just a little point to note: on my way to work today, bumped into a hall junior... and he is only graduating this year. Just thought that I'll note it down... for some reason, feel that I may just hear more from this person in time to come.

A Nation of Statistics

So polling day has come and past... and our ruling party has been given "a strong mandate". But in the aftermath of the election, statistics have conquered all converstaion... in coffee shops, in restaurants, and in movie theatres. :) Once again, I am amazed at the number of people who have been intrerested in this election (especially the ones in my age group)!!! For myself, I rank my key accomplishments during this period as:
1) Having attended my first rally (and being one ant out of tens of thousands)
2) Finally having a chance to "state my choice"

I really enjoyed the rally (at Ang Mo Kio, my GRC, no less) which I attended with T&S. It was fun to just soak in the atmosphere and to listen to some of the debates "live" (albeit one-sided), as opposed to via the usual news channels. Traffic was a horror (brilliant me took the MRT), but even S decided that her $25 cab fare was well worth it.

So, one week after, we can now all start rambling off stats like 66.6, 66.13, 43.92 and so on... numbers that will make no sense in about a week's time... but will be relevant in 5 years. Of course, these stats are accompanied by some memorable key workds like "strong mandate". "lift upgrading", "money politics", "suicide team", and of course James Gomez. What does this General Election mean at the end of it all? I shall leave the detailed analysis to the experts, both local and international... but I figured, both our ruling party and the opposition have won a few little battles this time round; but as to the war... I think we will have to wait another 5 years for the answer.

Brand New Friend

Been meaning to blog about stuff that I have read for a while... just a little way to note down the more memorable books. Well, have just completed a book 5 minutes ago... Brand New Friend... whilst I was reading it... it just struck me that the gang and I could have easily been the stars of this book... or the authors... After all, the topic of discussion comes from the same vein as our "Bucket Theory" and "Left Right Turn" discussions.

Well... must say that it has been a while since I've enjoyed such a book. I acutally think that it is one of Mike Gayle's best books. Book talks about a gal and a guy in their 30s, getting to know each other... and being platonic friends. Throughout the book, they try and settle into the idea of just being friends... in the midst of protests by their other halves, their family and their friends.

My fav parts of the book? Well... it can be summed up in the following bits, the first being when Rob tells Phil, his best friend, of his new "mate", Jo:

'Yeah,' said Rob, 'but this is different somehow. For starters I haven't made any new female friends since I've been with Ash. And most of the ones I had have sort of faded away over the last few years. You know how it is - you start seeing someone, they start seeing someone and then you drift apart.'

'I wouldn't know, mate,' said Phil. 'I've never had any female friends.'

'What about Adele from the ad agency? You were pretty close to her for a while. And there was that girl who worked in the press office at EMI.'

'I wouldn't call them mates exactly,' clarified Phil. 'Truth is they were more like ongoing projects. If you know what I mean. They responded better when my obvious charms were on slow release rather than fuel-injected. I don't think I've ever had a female friend who wasn't an ongoing project.'

The second bit is when Rob contemplates telling his girlfriend about his new mate:

'So, let me get this right, said Phil. 'Despite our previous conversation on this subject it's your intention...' he cleared his throat '... to inform your girlfriend that you're going to be getting drunk regularly with some woman you met in a pub.'

'I know it sounds bad when you put it like that but, honestly, it's like hanging out with you and Woodsy only she smells better.'

'It sounds like suicide,' said Phil.

'But what about Ashley being friends with Neil? Surely that gives me some ammunition.'
'Nope,' said Phil. 'Ash still won't get it. Neil was there before you so he's not part of the couple equation. What ever deal they had about working this friends-versus-fancying-each-other thing has been worked out - as evidenced by the fact that they're not together. Jo on the other hand has arrived after you and Ashley got together so shi is part of your couple equation. You and Jo won't have worked out a deal on the friends-versus-fancying-each-other thing and therefore have no evidence that you won't end up together.'

Can two people of the opposite sex really be just friends? Or will there always be some form of "sexual tension" in the picture? You know what? I can't figure that one out in the absence of a beer... I have a couple of male friends... but yeah, they entered into the scene before I met Jules... and, yes, I think these are people with whom I've settled the friends-versus-fancying-each-other thing... even the book doesn't have an answer for this scenario... I think at the end of the day, the author himself chickened out from making a call.

Reading Books

Recently had a conversation with a friend after she borrowed four books of mine and proceded to finish them all in one day!!! I was amazed... don't think I have ever managed to accomplish such a feat, and honestly, don't think I will ever have the capability or wish to do as such. My average reading speed? Two or three days a book... but I guess if I had a whole day to myself, would finish a novel in about 4 hours.

This conversation started me thinking... I actually think you can tell alot about a person from his / her reading "style". On one spectrum, you have readers who are just concerned with the broad picture "the storyline", and are not concerned with the details "the narration, the description", etc. These are the "skimmers". In life, they would be the ones that tend to be impatient, are oft concerned only with just getting the gist of things, and looking at things through a macro perspective, and will leave out the details. For example, this individual would know that he / she wants to go on a holiday to xx country, but would not know what he / she is going to do during the sojourn there. The details, or the planning, can best be left till the trip itself materialises. These individuals are fans of fast action thrillers like the Da Vinci Code, James Patterson, and for females... the romances.

On the other spectrum, you would have the readers who genuinely savours each written word. Thse are the "critics" or the "researchers". They firmly believe that the details in the book are the inspiration of the book, and would most probably be able to tell you the model of Harry Potter's broom in his first Quidditch match without blinking an eye. In life, they would be the ones who have all the details planned out... the "micros". Using the trip analogy as stated above, they would have planned out the exact itinerary for a trip to country xxx three months before departure date. These individuals would be fans of Charles Dickens (descriptive, descriptive, descriptive), a certain Mr Tolkein, and in modern day thrillers... more suspense authors like Patricia Cornwell or Greg Iles.

I think I fall somewhere in between the two categories. I do need to KNOW what is happening, plotwise, and therefore, do have a tendancy to skim past certain "boring" bits. However, I am a firm believer that the conversations, descriptions and details are what makes a novel throughly amazing and intriguing. Case in point would be fantasy novels. By and large the plot behind each novel is the same... an unlikely protaganist would come into power, and would have to battle and triump against the evil lord... there are no mysteries here. But what distinguishes the good authors are the attention to detail. For example, my all time favourites... Robert Jordan's average book runs 600 pages and up because of his multitudes of characters that somehow make the book more real; David Edding's books are always an enjoyable read as he takes the time to craft witty "speeches" for his characters. So yes, there are times wherby I re-read the book in detail just to milk the laughs, or enjoy the word play.

So what kind of person does that make me? Haha... well, I suppose I am a sucker for planning at times... and then there are others where I just literally "bo chap". One thing I do know... I need to rid myself of the habit of reading the end of the book before I finish it... and then again, maybe not.