One of those periods in life where I really wish I could have someone to lean on. The 小女人 in me must be creeping in again.

Changes

Hectic two months and now finally a time to slow down and enjoy being with friends and family. Even the trip to the Maldives felt kinda squeezed in admist all the deadlines and "to dos" that were never really very far away. In some ways, this job has really been quite stressful, but somehow, I do seem to be better at dealing with it. Maybe I've grown up.

Some reason, not having much luck with the spending quality time with friends and family bit. Not even too sure if it's me or everyone else, or the festive season making one and all cranky. Or maybe it's me reading too much into things... and reading crankiness and grumpiness into everyone. Could that be a guilty reaction? i.e. guilty of not spending enuff time and therefore reading grumpiness? In this period of two months, a "detached" feeling seems to have taken over, and it seems as though it has cascaded down to all my different "-ships".

One of those periods where I fully understand the meaning of 心有余而力不足, there's so much which I want to accomplish, so many things that require my attention (e.g. S's hen party / wedding which I have not even started preparing for), and just so little of me. Had dinner with mum tonight, and for the first time in weeks I saw her smile. But that required sis and me trying our best to get all preps ready, and to pre-empt her requests. Sometimes I wonder, what is it about me that always lands myself in these situations? When can I have my "off" day where I don't behave as I am expected to? Ponders.

With me wanting to sleep 10 hours a day (yes, the pig in me has returned), I am struggling with trying to prioritze my wishes vs. that of others. Really do want to find time to do that spring cleaning which has been hanging at the bank of my mind and bugging me for the longest time. Wish I could just find a way to decide which things in life are important to me and which aren't, and to just leave those extras be. Patience. Perseverence. I know I will sort things out. Will finally find the time to hang out with J & T, will visit I's office, will spring clean, will clear bills, will make the bookings for S's big night, will finally clean up the Pinoy accounts and will give everyone who is willing to spend time with me some quality bits of me.

If that's the amount of stuff that I am going to carry forward to 2010, I wonder what the next year will be like?