Little thots of clarity

Amei concert

2012-01-08T12:02:00.002+08:00

Quick short note ... she was AMeiZING. Definitely an entertainer. It was not pitch perfect, and for a great part of the concert, it was the crowd singing and not her. Not all the songs were ones that I particularly loved, but she sang the one that mattered. Like she said, anyone who listened to her songs through her career were bound to have their own images in their head. She was definitely emoting, remembering, crying, I wonder how many others were too?

Favourite Festival

2012-01-08T11:42:00.002+08:00

So with Christmas and New Year's out of the way, we're two thirds past the annual "celebration". Was just thinking that Christmas must be my favourite time of the year, in large part due to the fact that my close friends will always be at my mum's place on Christmas eve. Small gift exchanges, lots of good food and wine, and plenty of great company. It's the image of Christmas that I've held in my head since young, mostly influenced by the books of old England that sits on my bookshelf. So... there's no wintry landscape, and there's no fireplace, but the important elements are all in. Can't really think of or ask for more.

But that's me... I do know of people (and someone in particular) who gets particularly edgy during Christmas. Where everything is just "wrong", from the orchard road crowds, the horrible gift exchanges to the cheesy gatherings. And I guess for me, that's Chinese New Year. We've still got a couple of weeks to the actual event, and I've already got a headache thinking about the logistics (how to cart back the various goodies, how to change the cash for the ang pow), how on earth am I going to be at 5 houses on the same day. And than there's the very concerned relatives. Sighs. All these people whom I have to see not coz I actually enjoy their company but coz we apparently have the same genetical lineage. Who are not concerned about me but who love to ask the most personal questions. Just thinking about them makes me go all "bristle". Of course, this year and the family "issues" that keep popping up makes it all the more complicated.

Count down to D day begins.

Party Thoughts

2012-01-04T09:39:00.001+08:00

Something hurts... the question is what?

One thing is sure, I'm not meant to party Agency style. Still not at that state.

One more night

2011-12-28T10:42:00.000+08:00

Sleepless again. I am beginning to understand why people drink themselves into oblivion. At least you get a good night’s sleep.

Maybe all I need is exercise – the lack of sun is not an excuse I know, but it’s contributing to my inertia.

Accidental Me

2011-12-27T11:32:00.000+08:00

So, I have never been the most careful of people, and the running joke is that I need to be wrapped up in cotton wool to prevent injury, but the past few days have been a record, even for me.

I blame it on the sleepless nights. I have a strained back (for which I need to google solutions! Heat packs and medicated plasters don’t work, stretching causes too much pain, and I am too chicken to see a sinseh – nor do I think it is serious enough), multiple cuts, many many bruises (of which one actually measures 10cm x 5cm). It looks as though I’ve been fighting with every available piece of furniture, and then some walls. Seriously, I think I’ve fulfilled my quota for the year.

Insomnia sucks.

On a slightly better note, looks like I’ve regained the ability to write in complete and long winded sentences. ;)

Another song

2011-12-26T17:01:00.003+08:00

Was never a real fan of Rainie Yang's singing till I heard this song. Rather simple but yet I can feel the emotions that she's trying to convey?

我们都儍

计算着为你流下了多少眼泪
就代表又对我的心撒了多少谎
但每次我都选择
选择相信相信你是爱我的

倔强的以为我真的能改变你
看你装无辜的眼神我很窒息
难道你没有看见看见我对你的好
还是你忘了那些数不清的爱情轨迹

你说我傻傻在爱上只懂爱自己的人
我说你傻傻在爱她你的眼睛骗不了人
我们都傻傻在为一段没有未来的爱情付出
还在期待会有奇迹出现

你说我傻傻在爱上没有感情的分身
我说你傻傻在爱她就固执的奋不顾身
我们都傻傻在宁愿被牺牲也不愿放弃天真
还在期待会有奇迹出现

谁没有为爱做过傻事　
只是问心无愧讽刺也无所谓

我说我傻傻在爱上没有感情的分身
你说你傻傻在爱他就固执的奋不顾身
我们都傻傻在宁愿被牺牲也不愿放弃天真
还在期待会有奇迹出现
还在期待会有奇迹出现

As an aside, this party period must be screwing up my body clock... for a person who's normally real piggy, I seem to be only able to sleep a couple of hours a day?

Random again

2011-12-25T11:05:00.003+08:00

Only during Christmas do I have the luxury of time to just sit and go "type type" at my comp. Irony being that this Christmas the only present that I bought before hand is the only present that I did not get to give. ;

Think in this age of Facebook status and Tweet updates, I'm finding it difficult to write anything above a sentence.

Song that I like

2011-12-23T22:25:00.003+08:00

Just randomly playing music. Adele seems to be on many a person's Facebook these days, not to mention a constant favourite for talentime competitors. "Someone like you" seems to be the hot favourite for most people, but my personal favourite is below. What's your interpretation of turning tables?

Turning Tables

Close enough to start a war

All that I have is on the floor

God only knows what we're fighting for

All that I say, you always say more

I can't keep up with your turning tables

Under your thumb, I can't breathe

So I won't let you close enough to hurt me

No, I won't ask you, you to just desert me

I can't give you, what you think you give me

It's time to say goodbye to turning tables

To turning tables

Under haunted skies I see you, ooh

Where love is lost, your ghost is found

I braved a hundred storms to leave you

As hard as you try, no I will never be knocked down

I can't keep up with your turning tables

Under your thumb, I can't breathe

So I won't let you close enough to hurt me, no

I won't ask you, you to just desert me

I can't give you, what you think you give me

It's time to say goodbye to turning tables

Turning tables

Next time I'll be braver

I'll be my own savior

When the thunder calls for me

Next time I'll be braver

I'll be my own savior

Standing on my own two feet

I won't let you close enough to hurt me, no

I won't ask you, you to just desert me

I can't give you, what you think you give me

It's time to say goodbye to turning tables

To turning tables

Turning tables, yeah

Turning ohh

Naturally

2011-12-22T14:05:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I must just believe that it's for the best, no matter how wrong it feels now.

Birthdays

2011-10-09T00:32:00.002+08:00

Birthdays have always been an important part of family time. My photo albums and lappie are full of photos of birthday cakes, evidence of the "grace" in which dad, mum, sis and myself have grown older. I have so many memories of my own birthdays usually spent abroad, as this would be my "birthday" present, but really because my birthday falls during the school holidays. Until this year. Due to some "unpleasantry"? the parents are not spending their birthdays in Singapore this year. Why? I guess, because, just like me, they have too many memories of happy birthdays spent together as a family unit.

Dad's birthday is coming up on Friday, but the parents will be off to China tomorrow (or rather later this morning). Of course, not wanting him to feel totally forgotten, I tried to organise a more muted form of a birthday celebration even though they turned down my offer to bring them out for a nice dinner. Knowing that they did not want a traditional birthday cake, bought some tarts instead, and still sang a happy birthday song. There and then, it did feel kinda still like a celebration, whispers of past happy celebrations. But now as I sit alone at home, well.... it's no longer as easy to keep the tears from flowing. For this very moment, I wish so much to be a little kid, to just say, I want things to be the way it used to be.... not the way they are now.

It's been 8 months now? A long time for a family to have something looming over their heads, a long time to see my parents still being unable to pick themselves up from the disappointment, to see them avoiding the home which means so much to them. There's little I can do, really, it's one of those situations where effort does not equate results, and there's no right course of action. But still, I know I have to be the voice of reason when speaking to them, to always try and coax the occasional smile and laugh. And so I spend my time telling stories of the various characters at work, and there are some good times.

Have only been emo about this twice. Once very early on, straight after mum poured out her heart to me. There and then, I just felt so helpless. And today, for no real reason, except the realisation that I won't be able to really properly celebrate dad's birthday. Next family birthday will be mine. I already know my birthday wish. That things would miraculously sort itself out .... coz as of now, there does not seem to be any light at the end of the tunnel.

"Me" time

2011-07-31T22:45:00.002+08:00

It's been such a long time that I wrote anything in this space... almost forgot the login. Me and my poor personal administration. Not to say that I have not written anything for the past few months, I have, dribs and drabs on various scraps of paper.

With the change in job, I am slowly adjusting ... and finally have the time to tick off the little "to-dos" that has been at the back of my mind. For the first time in at least a year, I only have 7 unread emails in my personal inbox - am so impressed with myself. Just one week ago it was at close to 2,000 (yes I have alot of junk mail). Have also finally unpacked and repacked almost every single cupboard and drawer in the house. It really is pretty interesting going through the years of accumulated momentos - some with lots of real memories, and others long forgotten. Like the diaries that I kept in secondary school, my first ever pair of ear rings, each new box is a new discovery.

Admist all, how does one decide which to discard and which to keep? The old pair of jeans that I can no longer fit in but I thought was the nicest ever? The extremely comfy JC PE t-shirt that looks a bit like a rag but I love sleeping in? The old essays and letters that I used to exchange with friends? Old address books? .... the very tattered storybook? The list goes on and the thought process is really quite interesting.

Maybe, just maybe, after figuring out the formula for tidying up the house, everything else will be a piece of cake.

Difficult Conversations

2011-01-29T13:39:00.002+08:00

Had a semi traumatic week where I kinda lost it at work. Looking back, not even too sure what triggered it. Subsequent conversation was not any better, but brought to mind the fact that I need to make decisions SOON. Why is it the older I grow, the harder it is to decide what I want? What happened to that "know it all" attitude that I once had? A semblance of that me may not be a bad thing at the moment. Pride, ego, material needs... this SWOT analysis has too many facets.

Thankfully work week ended with a nice little dinner with Miss Ene and PR at my place - cannot believe it's the first time that Miss Ene has been over. But even that dinner had its sobering moments which added to my confusion: what is the role of a woman in today's world? Made me remember this classmate of mine in Sec School who is of Middle Eastern origin. Both her and her sis would easily top their cohort in terms of grades - yet both were resigned to the fact that after sec school they would go back to their country and enter into an arranged marriage. At that time I know I was in shock at the unfairness of it all - but actually, maybe in our so called advanced / westernized country, we are but just delaying the inevitable subversion of women.

The year where the world snuck up on me

2010-12-17T05:02:00.002+08:00

It's been a whirlwind of a year. That one little role switch in April (gosh, it has only been 9 months) has really been life changing. Sitting in my very nice room in Sydney, listening to Frank Sinatra, despite the many Christmas trees and lights that Orchard Road has been springing on me, it's only now that it hits me that Christmas is drawing near.

This year seems to have been just one mad rush. Days fade into nights, and very often, night turns into a day with what seems like a very short time on my bed. A few turns and a week just passes with one task after another completed. And yet, despite it all, I have learned, learned things about myself and about the others around me. It's amazing how life will always throw you little tidbits when you don't expect it

December has traditionally been a month of celebrations and meetups with old friends, and thankfully, this year has not been an exception - did feel really loved that everyone was willing to accommodate to my somewhat erratic schedule.

Think I'm ready to sit down, rest, take a moment with loved ones, and move on.

Both Sides Now - Frank Sinatra

Rolls and flows of angel hair,
Ice cream castles in the air,
Feather canyons everywhere,
I've looked at clouds that way.
But now they only block the sun.
They rain, they snow on everyone.
So many things I would've done
But clouds got in my way.

I've looked at clouds from both sides now,
From up and down and still somehow
It's clouds' illusions I recall.
I really don't know clouds at all.

Moons and Junes and ferris wheels,
The dizzy, dancing way you feel
As every fairy tale comes real.
I've looked at love that way.
But now it's just another show.
Leave 'em laughin' when you go.
But if you care, don't let em' know
( From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/n/neil-diamond-lyrics/both-sides-now-lyrics.html )
Don't give yourself away.

I've looked at love from both sides now
From give and take and still somehow
It's love's illusions I recall.
I really don't know love at all.

Tears and fears and feeling proud,
Say "I love you" right out loud.
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
I've looked at life that way.
But now old friends are acting strange.
They shake their heads and say I've changed.
But something's lost when somethings gained
Living everyday.

I've looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall.
I really don't know life at all.

Pondering

2010-07-18T14:18:00.001+08:00

Missing the conversations, the company, you...

If I could turn back the clock, where would I stop? What about you?

Avoiding

2010-06-29T21:16:00.002+08:00

Latest trait that I've learnt, when I am too tired to handle something, I avoid.

Starting anew

2010-06-27T11:49:00.002+08:00

This blog has been quiet for a long time, not because I have totally abandoned it, but because in my period of change, I've had too many different emotions and thots to really put down on paper.

Three months in this new role, think I've tried and tested evey part of myself, it's a whole new learning exprience, now only in terms of technical skills, but I've got to learn so much about myself. About my ability to handle my fluctuating emotions, my strengths and weaknesses in terms of time management, discipline, attention to detail, and I guess, what my likes and dislikes are in terms of work are. On a very personal level, I think I have learnt to, with respect to my relationship with colleagues, friends, and family. Amazing that one little change in role in an existing organisation can have such an impact, but I guess when that role takes up 90% of my waking time, and invades my dreams, yes, it does.

Had a very rare two long nights out, one with MT weekend before, catching up and talking. Was supposed to be a belated birthday celebration (for the third year), and one with a colleague, P. As she said, am very surprised that at this late age, I have found someone whom I could pour my heart out to, to tell her and for her to tell me all about her private life and thoughts. Despite the language barrier (and it definitely IS a language barrier), we managed to find our similarities.

Whilst recounting my story to her, alot came to mind. Made me remember what friends are for, and what having a partner in life is like. Emotional pillar, someone to share my thoughts, someone who cares for you and the way that care is shown. We talked about past experiences with partners who wanted us to conform to their wishes, versus those who put our happiness in front. At this point of time, made me stop and reflect and reappreciate what I have. Am really thankful for those who in these three months have allowed me the time and space to come to terms with where I stand, and what I can do, and with their support, sometimes just letting me do things in the way that I can, and not adding grief, I think I really have grown in this period.

Sometimes fate brings two people together, but in order to bring it further along, more is needed...

Beginnings... yet again

2010-04-07T13:02:00.003+08:00

It's been really quiet here, not really due to a lack of topics, but maybe due to a lack of coherent thoughts. Been a pretty hectic few months, with a lot of changes, this Tiger year may just prove to be an interesting one for me and my thouse around me. Funny yeah, how things just seem to happen together for friends?

In the course of a month or so, I seem to have lost pretty much all my lunch buddies, everyone seems to have switched / are in the process of switching jobs! And, whilst previous switches have always been in the RP vicinity, this time everyone seems to be moving away, with Ms ED going all the way to Jurong. Perhaps they have gotten it right after all, there's really not much to like about this area. In fact, if I were to ever run a company, would not pay the exhorbitant rents to locate myself in the crux of all the traffic.

April / May ... seems to always be that time in the year where I choose to embark on something different. This time round, it's a switch in roles. Smile, 2 years does seem to be the max that I can tolerate being bound to a certain job profile. This also means that it's been 2 years since my pay has been stagnant *sobbies*. No wonder I am finding it hard to afford my lifestyle of late. First week into the job, and I find my brain being worked as I make the transition once again from words back to numbers. Think I am a sucker for opting to move out of my comfort zone and back to a strange world that I have very little grasp of. Took me all of half and hour to realise how lacking my Excel skills are (when do you use "len", "if", "choose", "count", etc, etc... ), part of me feels that I'm too old to keep tackling these steep learning curves, on the other hand, a part of me does relish the fact that maybe just maybe I'm going to learn something again. My fellow teammates are a bunch of jaded downers, their msn nicknames are downright depressing. Shall check in again couple of months from now and see if I keep having the words "frustrated", "sleepless", "angry", "nonsense" in my nick. Well, I guess not sleeping till the wee hours on a daily basis does frustrate one.

Onto happier thoughts, went for a nice break to the Gold Coast and Noosa. It's really one of those time just slows down places, and gosh.... the sky was so beautiful! Love holidays, think coz that's the only time where I stop to look and feel. Really came back much happier and refreshed. Have not even loaded the photos anywhere though, wonder when I will get down to it. Reminded me a little of my Sydney trip two years back... and had me wanting so much more. Can't really describe it, but there was this feeling of there's so much more to life than work and material needs, I want to really be able to enjoy this feeling with my loved ones...

K... time to continue working, have a bunch of reports to rush out so that I can make dinner or be grouched at.

Too fried to blog

2010-02-21T22:07:00.002+08:00

Have been silent of late... a bit coz of the CNY running around, a little coz I have found other forms of distraction, alot is due to the fact that I've a cough (it was more than a cough on and off) that refuses to go away, and I think coz I've found it too hot to concentrate on anything! Took my temp yesterday and it was more than 37 degrees for the 6th / 7th? day in a row! Not really having a fever, but not exactly at a "normal" temperature either. So irritating. Think I am going to stay silent for a while more.

Thankfully, there are not many

2010-02-01T23:35:00.003+08:00

days like this... but today is definitely a classic. A day where I am so glad that I earn my own keep. That, contrary to the many judgemental eyes, I can declare that I do contribute my own share to this household.

Am sure many other gals out there feel the same. Where relatives and friends alike blame the "non production" of an offspring on the female. That the sole "burden" of upkeeping a household rests on the male... and the female just sponges off. The actual income brought in is of no regard, "fact" remains, the male is the one who upkeeps, the female the nurturer.

It's not the first time that I've heard these remarks... but it's definitely one of those days where I take offense to them. But then again, is it really right? Maybe they are founded after all. Maybe it's just me, maybe I'm just that unattractive.... after all to nurture and procreate is the responsibility of the female? Or are we just reading pages from a different book altogether?

And then there's that moment where you sense that he believes in it too. That no matter what, the female is the less knowledgeable of the two. That despite the fact that I've spent the better part of my month in some foreign country, some part of it is my own doing, and that it's really not required, and it really does not mean anything. Except that I'm kinda useless, ineffective at the things that matter, and unattractive. *Ouch*

Days like this, I so dread the coming festive period. I wonder, what would happen, if, and only if, my tongue runs away from me, and I say:

"Yeah, you are right, check out my $25,000 Hermes crocodile bag, and to think I only earn $1500 a month, see how much he dotes on me", or;

"How did you know? We can't have kids because when I was in my teens I had 5 abortions"...

or something equally bizarre... I must admit, the troublemaker in me does sometimes itch to surface.

Year has not started well at all. Last couple of weeks have been difficult. Somewhere inside me I know it's not logical, but just not today. This particular hour... just want to dig my own hole and wallow.

But then again, I know not all is gloom. Managed to finally spend some time with MT, bonding over Roger and Justine. *hearts* Managed to spend time with S&S, chilling over wine. Positivity, when things appear bleak. Take heart, dear heart... that is the motto of the strong female.

It's not supposed to matter,

2010-01-26T23:00:00.002+08:00

and I know it was said in jest, but the words"Hate you" should never be a joke. Ouch, some things really hurt.

Haiti

2010-01-19T08:07:00.004+08:00

Not often do I touch on "current affairs", but the Haiti situation has been not far from my mind this past week. Not being at home, not too sure the extent of news coverage that is shown. However, have been following closely the CNN coverage of the tragedy, and, each time, even if I am watching repeated footage, my heart does hurt.

The first few days was all about the people stuck under the rubble, with not a sign of any help. Civilians trying to dig their love ones out of the rubble with their bare hands. An impossible task, considering that these loved ones are buried under huge slabs; the best they can do is to dig a little hole to pass in food and water. Rubble really gives a very different impression. This was followed by images of the hospitals, where patients and corpses alike were overflowing to the pavements outside the hospital. Clips after clips of bodies uncovered from the collapsed builidings only to be left lying on the pavements, with only a piece of tattered rag covering them, the only form of dignity being afforded to them.

A weekend has passed and with the amount of aid that we've heard that's supposedly pouring in, there is this belief that the situtation must have improved. But it hasn't. Not visibly. Yes, there are finally troops and relief workers pouring in. But the bulk of food, water and medication is still being stuck at the airport as they can't move it out due to the collapse of basic infrastructure. Slowly, the tractors are being shipped in, but this means that the few survivors still trapped under the buildings have almost no hope of survival any more. Though mass graves are being dug, there's still plenty of areas where bodies are still being left on the pavements, this time covered not only by the rags, but maggots and flies. I can't help but wonder how long it would take before disease sets in. Hard to believe that in our current day and age, with our technologyand infrastructure, we are still unable to bury our dead. The footages coming out of the hospitals now are even more heart wrecnhing if that can even be possible. Survivors with injuries are being sent to the hospitals for treatment. But... these are not hospitals as we have back home, these are facilities with no equipment, and inability to conduct surgery. As such, these "survivors" are just minutes / hours from death as a result of their injuries / rotting flesh. It's as though they were rescued from a quick death to languish into a longer death. A worrying development is the start of looting as the survivors are firstly getting over the shock of the quakes and getting impatient and desperate over the slow trickling of basic food and water to them.

Perhaps due to the proximity of Haiti to the US, their is some high profile help coming in. Hopefully, this would make the difference for the remaining survivors. Whilst watching the various aid programs, their was this clip on David Blaine, and he said: "We complain when our heater is the wrong model, for these people, it is an unknown concept". He has put what's in my mind very succinctly. Back home, if you open your ears, one hears neverending complains about our quality of life, about too much work, about just generally not being happy. But in comparison to the very real people of Haiti (just switch on the TV and you will see how real they are), in the face of the tragedy which seems like it came out of a 14th century novel, how can we feel anything but lucky? Moments like this, I am grateful that my travel to the poorer parts of the world these few years have made me more appreciative of what I have, and hopefully, I'll always remember this lesson learnt.

Complete

2010-01-04T12:58:00.002+08:00

Think the two week "Break" enabled me to accomplish most of the loose ends. Spent alot of time with the gang... (Little Bunny, can you please go google that very interesting "joint" at TP?), spent some time with the family, managed to spring clean my house into something remotely decent, visited I's study (love the home concept, can almost feel myself studying there), hung out with some other peeps... all in all, mission accomplished.

January is going to be busy as a bee work wise (I completely shut down for 2 weeks doing the bare minimum), of which the bulk of it is going to be spent in Manila. Crossing fingers that I will be able to come back after 3 weeks, and that it does not stretch into February... Lots of discussions and decisions to be made in the coming month... *cross fingers*

Looking down my list of things... only two (major) items outstanding... to see Baby E before he turns 1, and something other.

Ice cube in the sun

2010-01-04T12:06:00.002+08:00

Random thought that just crept into my mind in the midst of my sleep. Clear enough for me to remember it the next morning. Can almost feel the excruciating pain (only applicable if ice cubes are capable of feeling)

There are individuals in this world who thrive on putting others into such situations.

2009-12-22T23:33:00.002+08:00

One of those periods in life where I really wish I could have someone to lean on. The 小女人 in me must be creeping in again.

Changes

2009-12-22T23:13:00.002+08:00

Hectic two months and now finally a time to slow down and enjoy being with friends and family. Even the trip to the Maldives felt kinda squeezed in admist all the deadlines and "to dos" that were never really very far away. In some ways, this job has really been quite stressful, but somehow, I do seem to be better at dealing with it. Maybe I've grown up.

Some reason, not having much luck with the spending quality time with friends and family bit. Not even too sure if it's me or everyone else, or the festive season making one and all cranky. Or maybe it's me reading too much into things... and reading crankiness and grumpiness into everyone. Could that be a guilty reaction? i.e. guilty of not spending enuff time and therefore reading grumpiness? In this period of two months, a "detached" feeling seems to have taken over, and it seems as though it has cascaded down to all my different "-ships".

One of those periods where I fully understand the meaning of 心有余而力不足, there's so much which I want to accomplish, so many things that require my attention (e.g. S's hen party / wedding which I have not even started preparing for), and just so little of me. Had dinner with mum tonight, and for the first time in weeks I saw her smile. But that required sis and me trying our best to get all preps ready, and to pre-empt her requests. Sometimes I wonder, what is it about me that always lands myself in these situations? When can I have my "off" day where I don't behave as I am expected to? Ponders.

With me wanting to sleep 10 hours a day (yes, the pig in me has returned), I am struggling with trying to prioritze my wishes vs. that of others. Really do want to find time to do that spring cleaning which has been hanging at the bank of my mind and bugging me for the longest time. Wish I could just find a way to decide which things in life are important to me and which aren't, and to just leave those extras be. Patience. Perseverence. I know I will sort things out. Will finally find the time to hang out with J & T, will visit I's office, will spring clean, will clear bills, will make the bookings for S's big night, will finally clean up the Pinoy accounts and will give everyone who is willing to spend time with me some quality bits of me.

If that's the amount of stuff that I am going to carry forward to 2010, I wonder what the next year will be like?

2009-11-22T00:50:00.000+08:00

I want to mean something, and feel that I do... don't we all?

The Biggest Loser

2009-11-21T21:14:00.002+08:00

I am strangely addicted to this show. Maybe it's coz weight seems so much more hefty when it's mentioned in pounds. On many a morning at home (and nights in the hotel) I find myself tuning into the hallmark channel and gasping away. How can anyone weigh 400 pounds! Wow... and lose 200 pounds in 12 weeks! Okay, so maybe it was the good "TV producing" etc, but the weight loss process seemed to be alot of hard work, and oh so painful. With each episode, I can almost feel my "abs" aching... and not luxurating in my two scoops of ice cream.

I know what draws me to this show. Find it super inspiring. And a true reflection of life. To lose weight and to feel better about oneself, there's often a lot of determination, a lot of will power, even sweat and tears. It's also so much easier to just let oneself go, to go back to that comfort zone, even with the knowledge that one was not happy. Mayhaps, better the devil that one knows? Think the contestants show that we all do have it in us to pull oursleves up and move on. 400 pounds! Imagine! Even walking must be an enormous task.

P.S. Realised that whilst my stomach muscles are still able to withstand situps and crunches, I can no longer do push ups!

Utilization

2009-11-21T21:07:00.002+08:00

This title would take on a whole different meaning were I still in a "professional firm"... but...

2 weeks... that is how long my current company took to make an "urgent" payment from US to UK in HKD. And just in case you thought it was because there was no sense of urgency, I counted at least 40 emails following up on this payment... and this included emails from the VP Finance, the CFO, the FC, etc. I would have found it highly hilarious if the matter wasn't of such an "urgent" nature, and if I was not to be held responsible for their actions across the continents.

So 2 weeks after, you would think the payment by Treasury would have been sorted out. But no, payment was rejected by UK bank as there was no corresponding HKG bank account. *Faints* Last I checked, we were a multinational.

Next holiday destination

2009-11-19T22:34:00.003+08:00

Just read MT's "best days of the year" trip, and could really sense the "longing" for those good old days. And the BEB seems to have only fond memories of Brissie as well. Times like this... I do admire them for being able to have spent some prolonged time abroad (no, 3 weeks stuck in Pinoy land does not count). Since there seems to be so much a-chilling to do, mayhaps it's a worthy place to consider for my next holiday?

承认

2009-11-18T23:09:00.003+08:00

This has got to be a really old song... but I heard it for the first time today. Really liked the lyrics, and the rendition that I heard (have not heard the original) was touching indeed.

承認
承認吧對我還有好多感覺
只是你不敢再虧欠要不就這樣算了吧
就這樣散了吧至少你不毓d負了她
這些我都從無埋怨先給愛的人並不可憐
早知道最後的結局多落的分離
我是有理由不死心塌地我當然不恨你
也從來不怨你溢桮菑ㄦQ你
雖然是曾經也是唯一若要忘記
兩三年就可以我打算不見你
也決計不尋你也已經不想你
只要是偶爾回首過去在記憶裡
還有甜蜜能這樣就可以
承認吧對我還有好多感覺
只是你不敢再虧欠要不就這樣算了吧
就這樣散了吧至少你不毓d負了她
這些我都從無埋怨先給愛的人並不可憐
早知道最後的結局多落的分
離誰又該傻得去死心塌地我當然不恨你
也從來不怨你溢桮菑ㄦQ你
雖然是曾經也是唯一若要忘記
狠下心就可以我打算不見你
也決計不尋你楛q此不想你
只要是偶爾回首過去在記憶裡
還有甜蜜能這樣就可以
我當然不恨你也從來不怨你
也已經不想你雖然是曾經也是唯一
若要忘記狠下心就可以我打算不見你
也決計不尋你不願意再想你
只要是偶爾回首過去在記憶裡
還有甜蜜能這樣就可以

If you're not the one

2009-11-18T12:15:00.002+08:00

One of those days when a song ambushes you, and creeps in... I had no idea what the title was, could not remember the lyrics, but yet the melody kept playing over and over. Not even sure that I like it, but it was bugging me, so much so that I had to search for the lyrics. Now that I've found it, time for me to get back to work!

If you're not the one - Daniel Bedingfield

If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call?
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all?

I never know what the future brings
But I know you're here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this **much** is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I'm praying you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side

I don’t wanna run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

Loving you

2009-11-17T23:24:00.000+08:00

fully truly
it it so hard to accept?

Of the Dream Realm

2009-11-10T21:59:00.004+08:00

Sometime in the afternoon, a couple lies on the bed, cuddling.
Girl: I Love You
Silence follows. At that very instant, if you listen really carefully, you can barely discern a soft intake of breath... who from? It's anybody's guess.
The conversation resumes, and this moment disappears from memory. Sometime later, the girl shifts and lies on her side, supposedly to sleep. Perhaps unknown to the guy, the pillowcase is now the recipient of yet another round of tears.
The dream realm beckons. Mayhaps it was the activity that preceded sleep, but the couple's dreams are particularly vivid.

His Dream
The same guy, in appearance, few years younger. There's just this much more sparkle in his eyes, tinged with that bit of excitement. With him, a different girl, yet, somewhat alike. The setting looks grand, posh. Both are dressed up to the nines. Suddenly, the soft piping music in the background grows that lil'l bit louder. It's their song. Guy pulls the girl into an embrance and says:
"I love you... will you be mine always"
Looking into her eyes, he sees her eyes cloud over with tears, but they are not tears of joy.

Her Dream
Instead of a specific scene, it appears to be a collection of memories. Of the initial chase, of all the sweet memories shared. Of the passionate moments. But even in her dreamlike memories, there is one constant... his eyes are fixed with a distant gaze. Appears as though he's there, but isn't there. The dream fast forwards and the girl's standing by the beach, looking out. A fairy tale background, prefect blue skies, glistening white sand. In her arms, a wee babe gurgles.

The alarm rings. They both wake. Peck on the cheek to say good morning, and off to prepare for the work day ahead. The commute to work is once again in silence.

A time to say "I Love You"

2009-11-10T21:50:00.002+08:00

One of those days where work just does not seem to be my topmost priority. Interestingly enough, though it's my week in shopping heaven, think I've conquered my "must go" shops. Been reading quite a bit... be it books (thanks to the national library which I totally dig), blogs, emails... and past scribbles. I think I really do just love the written word. Every notebook that I have, there seems to be snippets that I've noted down. Somewhat childish, but it's just me.

Anyways, was wondering, what does it take / how much time does it take for someone to fall in love? Are the words "I Love You" really so difficult to say and mean? Around me, can think of many individuals who would rather sky dive then to allow such depth of feelings to enter their being. And is past baggage a legit excuse? (Yes, excuse) Which brings me to this... doesn't real love "just happen"? Like, there should be a no holds barred approach to this right? Else, wherein do all the romantic comedies get their notion of "true love" from. You just need to watch 500 days of summer. The takeaway being a relationship in which you cannot even admit to for all the physical intimacy is just one which is of the "friends with benefits" variety. Even the most resilient of hearts are "supposed" to crumble under the hand of fate and cupid's arrow. Anything else is doomed. Enough said.

Random - Is giving up running away?

2009-11-09T22:50:00.002+08:00

So I had that all important conversation with my boss. And when the sheer pressure of the week finally departed, was feeling really proud of myself. I know that accepting this job was always a mistake. Did it for the wrong reasons, and could never shake myself out of it. Had too many dreams at that point of time. But yet I was pretty steadfast about it. And now year 2 of QR has passed. And I know that I actually passed decently. But in speaking to my boss I have broken my own "bowl". He has his own political agenda that he needs to achieve. But I anticipated that as well. So why do I not feel so brave now? Coz by holding my tongue just that much longer I could have paved something for myself? Haha... After so much of thought, time to just let the heart take over.

Had a really interesting conversation with MT the other day. Put two of us together and we managed to chat for a solid 4 hrs, till we got chased out / nicely asked out from the shop. Talked about living with the unexpected, of finding true love, of the "capacity" to cheat. Haha. And of only being able to do "this much for one girl". Thanks dear for staying up with me, always wonder why I leave off meeting for so long. Hope you had a great time in Aussie.

Miss the new dad... he's pretty much disappeared from my radar. I know I'm supposed to go a "baby-visiting", but then wouldn't it remind me of what I do not have? *cheeky grin*

Clicked

2009-10-27T10:07:00.000+08:00

So I finally did it... after thinking about it time and time again. Now the question is, will I ever get a response? And will it be positive?

Of finally gaining clarity

2009-10-18T00:26:00.002+08:00

Did something really different today... or rather something different by my standards... I did my nails!!! Something fanciful, such that I am wondering how to go about finishing typing this... hee

Smsed XL about doing this yesterday. Immediately the phone rang and she went "what happened?". It was quite funny. In all the time that she has been fiddling with my nails, it has always been "short and light please".

So what really happened? I think it's a mixture of mid life crisis (am turning the big 30 soon... time is running out), and finally having my "talk". The where do I stand talk. And coming to a decision on that dreaded QR (no more passing off two weeks OT for two days work). In a way, all is related. Whilst "spring cleaning", read a draft email i penned a year and a half back. Stark flashback to my feelings back then. Read a post dated that time last year. Another flashback on someone else's thoughts. That two minutes meant alot. No more questions. In a way, it's closure to the wealth of emotions and questions that I had. And though there was an attempt to tamper the atmosphere with the ending statement, all has been set in stone. And I feel better. :)

Feeling Ancient

2009-10-12T14:59:00.002+08:00

A "self pity" post.

Just realised that the guys that I have been romantically linked with (the ones that I keep in contact with anyways) are all dating people WAY younger than them (and therefore me). As a result, I feel positively ancient. And the "breakthrough" weight that I noted on the weighing machine yesterday did not help.

Time to admit that I've grown old. *Sobs* Time to wallow in more good food! *Giggles*

Simple sweet lunches and other little things

2009-10-06T13:24:00.003+08:00

Was in a slightly "cranky-ish" mood yesterday when I realised that I would most probably be spending my birthday in Manila working. Being someone who really hates working on my birthday, I have been thinking of means and ways to re-arrange my schedule and get around it. But as usual, clouds are not always dark forever and at this present moment, am feeling quite cheered with the simple and impromptu lunch that I just had. And it all started with me lamenting the closure of the Clementi "Ba Chor Mee" stall and KFC cancelling lunch due to boss related issues now. Although the actual BCM at Amoy was an unfortunate "so-so", lunch ended with a most delightful walk along Ann Siang Hill (it was looking to drizzle), a foray into the cake shop and into the most fantastic book store where I bought a book.

And to top it all off, came back to this email from someone who has been really too busy lately, which I thought was rather sweet: (have highlighted my favourite phrases)

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio
"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written." My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it..
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life.. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time.. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43.. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.44.. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

A Deliberation over Eats and Fats

2009-09-26T13:28:00.004+08:00

Was trying hard to stay off the internet (and msn) coz of the pile of flowcharts that I need to complete. Friday was absolutely disastrous (it was a hotpot of bad news at work), and thus, I had the lofty ambition to get my act together and finally get some work done. Couple of hours of staring hopelessly at the flowcharts, and the net beckoned. Haha.. such is my determination.

Past 3 days has been "eats" heaven...

Day 1 was mum's birthday dinner at dim joy folllowed by Mao Shan Wang
Day 2 was a splendid dinner with the BEB. 8 course Japanese degustation.
1. Appetiser platter comprising seaweed, milk tofu, and some unnamed veg

2. Dreamy sashimi platter (tuna, sea bass, kempachi and sama)

3. Foie Gras chawanmushi

4. Assorted vegetables (jap pumkin and yam) and rice cake coated with chilli sauce

5. Deep fried sama

6. Wagyu Beef

7. Miso soup and crab rice

8. Desert platter comprising of banana pudding, jelly, mango pudding
Photos of this night courtesy of the BEB

Day 3 was doing what I do best, managed to hook Miss ED up with Mr Macs and XDD over many different parts of wagyu beef and Sake at Gyu Kaku. Hee, have managed to bring different groups of friends together again!

But of course, all that eating had me pondering over the "side" effects, i.e. my growing love handles. If only there was a way to eat without gaining weight. Ponder ponder. An increase in my social life does tend to lead to a decrease in my available wardrobe choices. Sighs. It's amazing that stuff that I bought nary a few months back are now too tight! If only I had the discipline that Miss ED has... I could do with a few runs / cycles /swims. And yes, as P said in her blog, work is not an excuse for not exercising.

Just finished reading a hilarious book "Confessions of a Jane Austen addict", where a 21st century JA fan found herself waking up as a JA character. And the first thing she remarked upon? How her new body was so much more svelte and less prone to suffering the side effects of calorie intake. A choice passage:
"I think of some stranger inhabiting my body, just as I am in habiting Jane's. I can just see this Jane person surveying my belly and criticizing my flabby thighs. Or the cellulite on my ass. It's not that I;m a abd-looking woman or anything. But I'm not the long, willowy beauty that Jane is."
Isn't it any clearer what all women are concerned about? Hmmm... I so want to re-read JA all over again.

Anyways, this entire "fat" discussion brought a question to mind. Since gaining weight is inevitible, if we could choose a target area to put on the weight, where would that be? (Nope, the "frontal chest" area is not an option.) I am forever complaining about how my arms are fat magnets and as such, nothing looks good on me unless I am stick thin. I reckon, in this season's baby doll dress world, the waist is a good area to gain weight. You can literally pack on the pounds there and no one will be none the wiser. Unless of course, you like to go swimming... haha.

Quietly Listening

2009-09-20T11:24:00.002+08:00

Did not bring my work home on this long weekend... as such, find myself with plenty of alone time. I think it's nice to have this long break every once in a while. Was trying to find the inspiration to "move on"; do the dishes, wash the clothes, even jump into the pool for my weekly stretch, but ended up switching on the tv instead. Coincidentally, there's this China music awards programme on, and I started listening to song after familiar song... all the music "greats" and all the memories that came with it.

Never really thought of myself as someone who is particulary "involved" with music... I am definitely tone deaf to start off with, and cannot hold a tune. But yet, I do find myself unable to picture a life devoid of music. It has after all accompanied me through many late nights, and many happy and sad times. Thanks to the brilliant talent out there, I believe that at any point of time, I will always be able to find a song that depicts my current frame of thought, a song that I can relate to.

It's been one of those not too good times at work of late. Alot of things to do, with me not accomplishing any of my given tasks. There's talk of increased travel and pay cuts... I need to search for that inspiration... and soon. But right now, just having an idyllic morning with the book and the tv... something that I appreciate.

Avoidance

2009-09-16T14:43:00.002+08:00

It's easier to meet when in a state of relative happiness as then the temptation is less

Of Eye Candy

2009-07-24T12:42:00.001+08:00

That is hard to miss… have been taking the MRT to and fro office, and in the squeeze, have taken to observing those around me. Impression? There is plenty to see. For every gentle looking teenie bopper (I can so understand why 黄靖伦 is so popular here), there is another very man dude (I like!), just exuding masculinity. Must help that I get on the train at the stop which has a large California Fitness, but yes, I definitely do get my morning “perk me up”. Am not really saying that the guys here are good looking persay, but they definitely have more personal style, vis-à-vis the factory mould that we have back home. And many of them are actually quite friendly and humorous! Funnily enough, my Taiwanese colleague was commenting on Singaporean girls in the very same way. In her opinion, all Singaporean working women (especially those in Raffles Place), own an ensemble of a black top, office-y looking pants and black court shoes. Yes... I definitely do fit her description to the T. Sighs.

I think I would like to be a girl living in Taiwan. The standard work wear consists of a pair of nice jeans, casual shoes (slippers, open toe heels, sneakers, ballerina pumps), and a loose fitting t-shirt in a variety of colours! No oh way too tight tops… no smart shirts… no skirts! (except for really short denim / casual skirts). My CFO turned up today for work in a denim skirt that was so short… I don’t think I have the guts to wear! Think the dress code here would make my day… except that I would need to lose at least 4kgs (and grow a few cm) to “fit in” with them. Perfect size here appears to be 160cm, 41kg… or at least that was according to the tv program that I watched last night. And no one is ever going to complain that I am “deh” here. Haha… I lose hands down!

All in though, two weeks in Taipei, am starting to miss home… my mandarin is getting from bad to worse… my ears perk up the moment I hear someone speak English. Hee… no wonder I enjoyed myself in LA so much (many good looking Taiwanese guys to hang out with who can speak decent English). For now, shall contend myself with the guy gazing.

2009-07-22T09:34:00.002+08:00

It's been all quiet for a while. Been busy doing plenty of OT due to the imminent arrival of the BOSS! It's also renovation time at the office, and I am going to be further isolated! Time to make new friends... C is shifting to a totally different premise, and S is on maternity leave! Feels as though I am starting anew all over again!

Another month, another new country. Must say that Taiwan's turned out to be a surprise. I actually do like the place quite a bit! Or maybe coz I'm here in the correct month. Tee Hee. It's summer sale period hence... shopping! Agnes B is having 25% off. Haha... can you imagine? But surprisingly I have showed plenty of restraint (mostly coz I spent the majority of my weekend in the hotel room trying to piece together my file! I am serious about the OT!) Time enough to wander about this coming weekend when the sis (and the parents!) are coming down for a family get together. Was just supposed to be the little sis... but the parents (or actually the mum) could not resist it. Haha... as such... I think I will have someone watching over my purchases. Tee Hee. Bought a kawaii-ish top, and I was laughing at myself in the shop (so not me!)... but after some modifications (by pairing it mostly in black), have transformed it into something that I will wear.

Taiwan impressions... it's hot! There's really not as much air conditioning as back home. The people are friendlier... especially the sales staff and the taxi drivers. There is this temptation to take a cab everywhere coz it's more or less affordable and there are plenty of cabs around. On the other hand, I cannot fathom why the mrt stations are always a walking distance from the shopping areas. So weird. Oh, and the people here really do give up their seats to old folks / preggers women! I am amazed. Not rare to find a crowded train with seats! Haha... And they are so "environmental" friendly. I finally realise what "shopping bags" are for. You have to pay for plastic bags. Am still looking for my perfect portable bag. Is it too extravagant to get an agnes b one? *giggles*

The stationery.... am so in love... haha... I have bought an entire little twin stars collection. Which I am using! It's tons more expensive than the hello kitty (coz it's manufactured in either taiwan/japan instead of china), but it's like back to childhood days... I don't care. It costs way less than Agnes B bags anyway and cheers up my work day. Hee... Oh, and my suzy zoo chopsticks! Need to head to the plaza again to look for more suzy zoo stuff. Happiness.

No photos as yet. Shall wait for trigger happy sis to come down. Am turning pasty in my stay here. Ha Ha. And most probably fat with all the bread I am eating. Love the cheese bread... yummy.

A Little Quiet

2009-06-26T13:12:00.002+08:00

Been reading a bit... looking at all the "twitters" and ramblings of friends
Been listening a bit... conversations and snippets over lunch and dinner
Why do I sense that everyone's rather unhappy of late?
In theory, the economy should be picking up, isn't it?

In theory, most of us are at a stage in life where we made our own choices with open eyes, isn't it?
Then why all the uncertainty?

Had a breather from all the despair last night... hanging out with the old SCL peeps... hearing them talk about the little todds, and the soon to come little lady killer... it was nice... all I needed to do was sit in my corner, sip my wine, and just laugh at all the ribbing.

就站在这里- 小宇

2009-06-16T09:15:00.002+08:00

就站在这里- 小宇
这一次你转身比从前都快

两个人的小角落里

就这么缺了一块

我没有关系你只是暂时走开

既然说好了要一起
怎么可能忘记呢
我想我会好好继续写完你和我的爱
如果你只是想旅行累了随时回来
我就站在这里从来不曾离去
不管以后什么困难
若想到我你会知道
从来不曾放弃
就算我知道你已变了
变得不在意我还在这里
分手而已我想你忘了说开
直到看到你们一起撑着我们的雨伞
我没有关系你只是换个人爱
希望他会比我珍惜
会唱你喜欢的歌
我只能假装你还在
虽然有一点孤单
想到你的承诺
那些承诺
再听不见了
而我却一直在难过
为你 Oh I Don't Know why

Trips and Memories

2009-06-07T17:51:00.000+08:00

Someone once told me that trips had the power to influence decisions... And to a certain extent it did just a year back. One year on and a repeat visit, has anything else changed? Now my turn to stare at the waters and reflect.

London Dreaming

2009-05-08T16:59:00.003+08:00

So I finally achieved my London dream (of sorts). There were so many times this past week that I felt myself stepping back into time, and recalling the scenes of the various books and plays. Wish my little sis were here and we could have gone exploring together, the way we said we would. Well, hopefully there will be another chance.

感受

2009-04-19T02:54:00.002+08:00

也不知为什么
最近总是头痛
难道以前的毛病又回来了吗？
这几天真的很想家
也不是真的在这很不开心
但是总觉得很难永远保持开朗的心态
昨天S 发 msn给我
说我俩真的要和他人换份工作
人人都觉得我们蛮幸运的
总是飞来飞去，有机会看到不同的地方
其实一个人旅行真的有它的不好之处
有烦恼时，没人诉苦
有欢乐时，没人分享
跟家人通话时，也要装着开心
已不让他们担心
吃得好，住得好，何乐而不为
多一个星期要放假了
其实很想留在新加坡
但是已答应了好友一起去玩
又觉得不能辜负他们的期待
是不是自寻烦恼？

Being Friends

2009-04-14T23:26:00.000+08:00

This being a dreamy post that I am typing early in the morning, after thinking about it just as I fell into dreamland last night, is going to be in my usual rambling prose.

Anyways, was fooling around Facebook over the weekend, and there has been this craze where everyone posts 25 things about themselves on their wall. Well, I happened to notice this one little post “I am friends with my ex, who is getting married” or something along those lines. Coincidentally, I was also having this conversation with someone else on how difficult/painful it is to remain contact with the guy after the breakup, and there was this rather cute statement “It’s easier to just have a big fight, break up and not talk to each other”.

Such differing opinions, just in the space of a day.

2009-04-12T22:28:00.002+08:00

Got this off MT's Facebook... and thought it would be quite interesting to see how I fare:

The BBC came up with this list of 100 books. Apparently the average number of books from this list that people have read is 6.
Instructions:
1) Look at the list and put an 'X' after those you have read.
2) Add a '+' to the ones you LOVE.
3) Tally your total at the bottom.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen X (I read all her books for Lit in JC... so... )
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien X
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte X
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling X
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee X (this was mei's lit book)
6 The Bible - X (again, something I did when I was bored in JC)
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte X(the lit paper was comparison of Jane Austen with other female authors)
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell (I just bought this book!)
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman (I have never heard of this book)
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens X (How can I forget this book? We used to exchange letters quoting from the book, I still have them...)
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott X (I re-read this quite a few times)
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller (never read it, but it has been on the bookshelf)
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare (has anyone ever finished this?)
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk (another book that I have not heard of)
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger X
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy (this book has been on my bookshelf for a year... still waiting for that someone to read it with me)
25 The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams X
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck X
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll X
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens X
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis X
34 Emma - Jane Austen X
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen X
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis X (isn't this repeating no 33? I thot that meant all 7 books)
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hussein X (I cried reading this)
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden X
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown X
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez X
44 A Prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery X (I read this... and the entire series many many times)
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy X
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen X
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens X
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon X
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez X
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt X (This is a really good "thriller")
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold X
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding X (I even read the sequel to this)
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens X
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett X
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce (I gave up after chapter 3)
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - E.B. White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom X
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle X (again, I think I know every single story)
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton X
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery X
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare X (My JC lit text... I could quote from it)
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo X

39 books in all... not that many actually... offhand I can think of a few peeps who would have read more than me!

Say Cheese 2

2009-03-27T13:43:00.000+08:00

Part 1
“Hello… I am from the China Daily Post. How do you find HK and our no smoking at pubs policy?”
The conversation took place on the streets of LKF coz the little girls wanted to take a walk around. This guy appeared from “no where” and just intercepted K and me. Obviously, it ended with a “why don’t you join us for a drink?” to which I politely declined…
And on the no smoking at pubs policy? Haha… they are so way behind. ;)

Part 2
In the hotel lift … caught someone looking at my reflection. I looked up, and there was a “having a good day”, followed by a “you alone”?

Weird things happen to me when I am overseas… thankfully, the guys are getting younger.

Thinking of you

2009-03-23T12:30:00.002+08:00

You know I have alot of "me" time when I start listening to different songs... came across this via someone's msn nick. Quite like it. :)

Thinking of You - Katy Perry
Comparisons are easily turned
Once youve had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one I still got the seed
You said move on Where do I go
I guess second best Is all I will know
Cause when Im with him I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I Was looking into your eyes
Youre like an Indian summer
In the middle of winter

Like a hard candy With a surprise center
How do I get better Once Ive had the best
You said theres Tons of fish in the water
So the waters I will test
He kissed my lips I taste your mouth
He pulled me in I was disgusted with myself
Cause when Im with him I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I Was looking into...
Youre the best And yes I do regret
How I could let myself Let you go
Now the lessons learned
I touched it I was burned
Oh I think you should know
Cause when Im with him I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I Was looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Oh wont you walk through
And bust in the door And take me away
Oh no more mistakes
Cause in your eyes Id like to stay... stay....

我代你哭 - 郑中基

2009-03-20T15:33:00.002+08:00

Found a new song! This time round in Cantonese... how much of it do I really understand? Hee...

我代你哭- 郑中基

寧願擔心亦期望你　多找幾個情人
別這麼愛奉獻　但求自己快樂要緊
曾經一起未留住你　都清楚你為人
越傷心你越會興奮

還未答謝你　曾付出的跟你沒法比
寧願這福氣　來日全部回贈你
如果那個他不愛護你准我代你哭
因你受罪是多麼滿足
離開了你都可以代你歡笑代你哭
若痛恨誰讓我代你痛

如得不到甜言蜜語　得到知己好過
若果這個是我　盡情地傾訴像最初
誰管當初是誰做錯　將悲傷交給我
為感激你曾太愛我

還未答謝你　曾付出的跟你沒法比
寧願這福氣　來日全部回贈你
如果那個他不愛護你准我代你哭
因你受罪是多麼滿足
離開了你都可以代你歡笑代你哭
若痛恨誰讓我代你痛

就算別離後我亦會痛

Of Sorts

2009-03-20T15:14:00.002+08:00

My version of moods... sorts... so today's "sort" is this little butterfly in the stomach feeling, of missing someone / something... not too sure if it's home, or just missing being with someone. Just realised that it's been a long time since I had a nice big hug, an open conversation that is free from grouses. Have little K here with me so thankfully this trip isn't as lonesome, but it's still different from hanging out with the gang... after all, they do know all my little secrets. But somehow feel as though we've had more and more secrets of late. Wonder who started it... was it me? Had a good chat with T on msn this morning, think we've found it again!

Ended up listening to a bunch of semi melancholic songs... not too sure if it helped... but it goes with the grey overcast skies here.

This time last year had to be one of my lowest points... at least I am now treading upwards?

Cantonese?

2009-03-17T22:58:00.002+08:00

You mean you speak English to your parents? How can that be? What kind of Chinese household is that?

What is so surprising about a family that speaks only English (and at times Mandarin?) It always amuses me that my colleagues here think that I am weird just coz I do not understand Cantonese. Of course, at times I feel really left out as well when they ramble on and on during lunch and I literally "catch no ball". So, I am "dialect-handicapped"... but I really was not exposed to the dialect! Don't see why that should be a "snub" factor... but it is with the peeps here at work. And coz of that, I don't even try to make an effort to tell them that I do understand... I do confess... in retailiation, when speaking to a certain Mr D, I always double up my English speed just to prove a point.

Of Fridays

2009-03-17T22:44:00.002+08:00

I spent the last Friday night in SG watching two people get drunk and eventually having to send them home. 1 was fixated with ghosts and the other with his job and the corresponding inability to get hitched. 'Twas not what I expected when I agreed to head down but funny nevertheless. Firstime I saw W drunk... never thought that it would ever happen. :) Would love to post photos of that night but I don't think I will be forgiven... hee... yet another one for the big black box.

Manila

2009-03-03T11:56:00.005+08:00

Apparently February marks the "real" beginning of work in this company, and so I was spent a-packing to a new city ... Manila.

Amazing how I have been more or less brought up by various domestic help from Philippines but I have never picked up any Tagalog. Well, I guess that is a proof of their english competency. So I already knew I was not going to have any problems with language in the country. But what else could I expect?

I was definitely not prepared for the shocking pink roadside toilets that they had for males! Nor the amount of security that they had! Every big shopping centre and hotel had its fair share of semi automatic toting guards, along with the cutest guard dogs! In my short 10 minute walk from hotel to office, my bag gets checked no less than 5 times... thats an average of once every 2 minutes.

Two weekends in Manila... I had plenty of time to "explore" the shopping centres. This was my next "shock" point, the shopping has been so "localised" that even the international brands are filled with clothes in shocking pink, dark brown, dark green, purple and orange. Walking shop after shop, I could not find any thing to buy! Anything that I thought worth a second look was always tagged with a price tag that I could not afford! And the stuff that I could afford... well, let's say that Bangkok or Hong Kong are safe from being replaced as my shopping destinations. Not too sure who could afford shopping in these shopping centres... hmmm...

One "fear" my mum had prior to my visit was security... and she gave me a "sagely" advice: try and look like a local. Well, mum really should not have feared overly as besides the extremely tight security in the place, I was mistaken as a local throughout my entire stay, despite my many "blank" looks when spoken to in tagalog.

All in all, did learn alot from my trip to this new city, not to mention had alot of fun in the water during my weekend dive! Kinda amazed that the country has not done better as they are equipped with the infrastructure for success, but then again, most people I spoke to were very happy with their work life balance... so who am I to assume that a booming economy is necessarily the better thing?

Say CHEESE!!!

2009-02-21T13:45:00.004+08:00

"You look like a sea godess in the water"

It was all I could do to maintain a straight face. Talk about a cheesy pick up line... not what you would typically expect to hear at the swimming pool in a 5 star hotel. I must be looking my age to get pick up lines from a 50 year old man.

Another month, another new city... pictures and thoughts to follow.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

2009-02-06T20:15:00.002+08:00

I remember when I first heard about the show… I was curious, and was bugging (of sorts) someone to catch the movie with me. Of course, I proceeded to hunt for the book to take a read. Having finished the book (or rather short story), my enthusiasm took a slight dip. After all, how interesting could a short story made life be? There just did not seem to be enough meat.
Boy was I wrong. As promised, we caught the show and it was GOOD! There was quite a bit of dramatic license taken here and there, and of course, there were the similarities to Forrest Gump, but… I was duly and thoroughly touched.

So what did I like?

The love story… but of course.
The parallel between the two lovers, one aging and one getting younger. I especially liked the fact that we got to see both at the brink of death, one as a babe, one as an elderly lady. Which is the better way to go? It’s as though the audience gets to make that choice for themselves. The instance before death, it seemed as though both managed to recollect their entire life and most of all, the love they had for each other.
As Daisy said in the show, I am glad that they did not get together when she was 26. I liked the fact that they finally fell for each other when they were equals. But were they? After all, she was no longer “perfect” whilst he, outwardly at least, was.
That it portrays reality. The baby gal was the determining factor that caused their separation. Think before you leap.
The carefree years in their little corner duplex. That’s exactly how I picture couples totally in love to be. Waking up when you want to, staying up the entire night, chatting till dawn, very comfortable in each other’s company.
That love, does not need to be in your hands for it to exist. You may not even recognize it as love, but the strings are tied. That at times we need to learn from life before we can appreciate loving and being loved. That your time together may have lapsed, but yet, the attachment is there.

For the record, I did not like Titanic (even though it was another love story), and I did not cry whilst watching Forrest Gump. But TCCoBB brought out the most “romantic” / “emotional” part of me. Maybe it was 'coz this was a love story that I could understand. Finally, a movie rendition which I enjoyed more than the written version. Definitely a must watch movie for me.

Fertility and other Random Thoughts

2009-01-14T09:05:00.002+08:00

Was at the doctor’s last week and flipping through a medical magazine. The featured article touched on fertility and the different ways of alternative conception available for couples in Singapore these days. One of the lines that caught my attention was the “guidelines” for when a couple should seek alternative “help”. This was defined as when a couple has had frequent (i.e. 2 or 3 times a week) intercourse for a year without successful conception. I admit, I was rather taken aback. That’s more than a hundred failed attempts! And yet… with each new drama serial, there is the “unwanted” pregnancy which occurs with just one attempt. And yes, I know, that in reality, that does happen as well. Not for the first time I wondered how fate/god/higher being deals out the rights to be a parent to each individual.

And that brought me to this thought… Now that I’ve reached this old age of 30 and with the upcoming CNY, I’ve found myself having to answer the “when is it your turn” question. And almost like a robot, I would go… “nah, not grown up yet”. At times I am tempted to just go “when the time is right, you won’t need to ask” or something equally flippant/rude. But truthfully, have I considered this question? It’s complicated…

Which brought me to this next thought… Was checking out horoscopes with the gang via email, and we were commenting on certain very apt predictions. And there was just this little “click” sound that went off in my brain. There are just many coincidences around… all of which would seem very uncanny. The period before V day each year oft happens to be a time of emotional turbulence, and hence a period where my “aunt agony” skills are in high demand. Can that be explained by the subconscious effort of each individual to reflect on their relationship during this “love filled” season? These few years, I have oft realized that the beginning of each year is also when the announcement of upcoming “new additions” to the family start as well. Does this have to do with the fact that Dec is traditionally a lull month for most people, and thus giving rise to more “successful” conception attempts? But how many people are actually capable of taking on this responsibility?

Well… this year there was a kind of a twist… I seem to be suffering from an aunt agony overload. So much so that I can’t figure if break ups are good, marriages are bad, babies break up relationships, and horoscopes are just a tad of rubbish. Was having a conversation with the BEB and we touched on terminating pregnancies due to “scientific” reasons, i.e. when there appears to be a chance that the babe will be “disadvantaged” at birth. For once, I found myself in agreement with him. Mayhaps, I have developed a form of that nonchalance after all. But then it brings me back to square one: is it fair to terminate / give up the chance of bringing a wee one to the world when there are so many others who so dearly wish for just one successful attempt?
Thought I’ll just end this post with a song that has been on “repeat” in my head ever since I watched the you tube clip of it… 我恨我爱你

面带微笑离开你怀里我听天由命
最後一张王牌在手里二选一的机率
不能放纵爱你就放过自己
爱情已过了甜蜜期多说也无益
爱不爱我已经没关系一点小伤而已
你可以很放心我不枫陉F留你
假装可怜兮兮都怪我太不争气
我恨我爱你 Oh~ 我爱你
只是因为你是你 Oh~ 我恨你
你有我看也看不清的小聪明
你有我说也说不完的坏脾气
你有我数也数不尽你的┅.新恋情
没关系┅
我有你拿也拿不走的旧回忆
我可以一个人安静的忘记你
我恨你最後那一句我爱你

2009-01-09T15:55:00.002+08:00

Just happened to watch this mtv... brings me back to the times of secondary school, very Aaron Kwok. Very sad mtv, would anyone be happy with this form of existence?

我可以为你挡死　- 潘美辰

说我没有资格　和你谈恋爱　

我的背景　我的过去　有点坏

曾经伤害过的人　梦靨后才明白　

你对我无动于终　我活该

我想老天爷会　刻意有安排　

在我沮丧时再刺一刀　

狠狠让我醒来

如果我真的不值得　

让你信赖　给我机会　

我愿生生世世等待 ※爱　

总是那么无奈　

当时以为我找不到爱 (哦)

后来我淌了一大堆浑水　才发觉　

原来我还有爱(我只为你而存在)

我可以为你挡死　

你说要不要胸口烫的伤　

我一人都来扛　

没什么我不敢(别说我不敢)

我可以为你挡死　

你知不知道

我对爱的信仰　是一辈子信仰　

绝不会间断

就算牵不到你的手　我也无憾　

就(只要)让我祝福你一切无恙

我就是要为你挡死　别

说我不敢胸口烫的伤　

我一人都来扛　

鬼门关走一趟

我可以为你挡死　你知不知道

我对爱的信仰　是一辈子信仰　

绝不会间断就算牵不到你的手　

我也无憾　

只要让我祝福你一切无恙

就算牵不到你的手　我也无憾　

只要让我祝福你一切无恙

My Songs - 不再说

2009-01-08T21:58:00.004+08:00

So the little bunny was doing some major spring cleaning... and she came across this song... a song written for me by a very old hall friend after hearing my nonsense for the upteenth time. Well, the little girl did something that I've always wanted to do but never did... she typed out the lyrics of the song. So, for the memory board, here it is:

爱要怎样才能够明白
不是一言两语三句就能说出来
梦要何时才能醒过来

不是梦醒就能忘掉所有伤害
你要何时才能停下来

不是哭过就能够把痛苦都掩盖

你要何时才能站起来

请你牵着我的手静静地听我述说

不再说你有多伤悲

不再说你有多抱歉

不再把从前的往事和诺言拿出来

当成是你的亏欠
不再说你还在思念

不再说你没有永远

我会把我双手放在你的肩

告诉你还会有明天

我永远会在你身边

Once I heard the song, I realised that I was wrong... used to tell the girls that S was the only one who I told everything to, who I could just "break down" and tell all. Then I realised I was wrong... for that period in my life where S was refusing to talk to me ... yes, amazingly there WAS such a time... M was there. Incidentally, just dropped him a friendster message the other day! Have not talked to him in years, ever since he started concentrating on his career and marriage. Hee. Should meet up soon. After all, his room was the one in which I spent many a hall night in, listening to him on his guitar, playing and singing... drinking beer and erm... other stuff. So yes, after his "rescue" of me from A on that fateful D&D night (another incident that I totally forgot about), I definitely made a new friend.... someone with whom I could be very open to, about my relationships... someone who stood by me.

Funnily, this seems to be the season for remembrance. Long long time ago, someone else wrote me a song too! Haha... I think only S remembers this... it was played on our JC prom night. And, in the spirit of the new year, I dropped him a message on NY's eve after 7/8 years? Hee. So apt right?

Oh well... I guess mayhaps like the little bunny said, although spring cleaning brings about the feeling of 心酸, many bits of it reminds us of the people who have once touched our lives, who have shown us love and care! Guess, it's never too late to say thank you to these special peeps!

2009-01-03T15:23:00.004+08:00

And so I had my 2nd late friday... so so so sleepy. But I think the girls had fun *I hope*. Introduced the gang to xmm, now we have one more little girl to add to our buddies!

It's been a while since we hit the clubbing scene, and as usual, it was coz there was an "emergency" of sorts. Am happy to announce that this time round, everyone turned up and L & S were dressed up! Woopie, and we had quite a bit of fun drinking at Wine Bar. The flaming "dare" will stay in my life for sometime to come. The alcohol was flowing (I was tallying up my receipts this morning *gulp*), and there were many many shots consumed. Hee, when the trays arrived, I was quite tickled.

Amazingly, none of the girls got drunk! In fact, I think they had a successful night partying. Hope that they managed to forget the unpleasant stuff for a while, and that the new year also marked the road to recovery. However, I must admit, on the way back, I could not help but wonder, am I immune? Or... am I always meant to be trouble free? Would anyone care? I seem to be stuck in my state of watching but not feeling of late. Hee... and then my phone rang, it was a simple text that said "home safe?" 'twas enuff to warm my heart... and I kinda thought, little obstacles in life can always be overcome.

The get-together feeling

2008-12-27T23:20:00.002+08:00

It has been a very relaxed christmas... in the sense that work slowed to a very soft hum... which gave me plenty of time to spend with the family and friends.

The whole gang (sans ED) came to my mum's place for Christmas eve dinner. Admist the turkey, the salad and the wine plus champs (we were very atas about the wine that night), we managed to spend a good 5 hours talking and playing with our christmas pressies! Why playing? The Skunk bought the following presents for us:

Uno Flash
Payday
Taboo
Pictionary Mania
Dogopoly

So yes... we were kids indeed that night. Think everyone had some good old fashioned fun. Even the littlest bunny realised that it was an *ahem* important occassion as she quietly slept in my room, whilst her dad and mum pretended to be 18 year old kids. My mother was definitely impressed by her good behaviour, especially after I went on and on about how rowdy the little one can be.

Last night we had the original gang gathering at my place for a good "girly" pseudo pyjama party. "Girly" coz the Skunk came along for a while, but he was more engrossed in Liverpool than the talk. But boy did we talk... I had to chase Miss ED out of my house near 4am... I was cranky! But overall, I think it did us all good to just spend some time together without any distractions. In a way, that's what christmas is all about yeah? Spending quality time with the friend and the family. Though there were no elaborate dinners, and no flashy presents this year, we did really enjoy each other's company. Things were shared last night which we all know will be kept between us... so I guess, it was a good christmas afterall. Hope that the year ahead will be a better one for everyone... heartaches be gone, and mayhaps, better career luck for everyone!

Confused Bemused

2008-12-16T10:39:00.003+08:00

And a year has passed, and much has remained the same. That which was suppressed, is again resurfacing. Some reactions are just so natural that it happens before I can catch myself. If I delve into it again, would the outcome be different? I can feel that the dynamics have changed. This time round, I can truly say, I have no idea how it is going to end.

Strangely Quiet

2008-12-15T11:55:00.004+08:00

There has been plenty a-happening of late, and yet, strangely, can't seem to put the events to "paper". One of those periods where everything's a whirl and my mind(?) changes its thoughts and feelings with each passing hour. Sometimes detached, sometimes way too emotional. Maybe because it's the end of the year all over again, and it's a time of reflection. Certain days I feel truly happy, and others, I "see" myself smiling, and yet, am not.

In this period of quietness, I grew another year older, felt a whole swirl of different emotions over a friend's new relationship, abetted another friend's pseudo relationship, and I guess, took some time to ponder over my own little lotus threads with a whole swirl of others. Think I'm not the only one who has been going through this period of reflection. The gang gave me a surprise birthday celebration, for which I am very very touched. Also had a few lovely dinners with the family, with the BEB, with T. Really appreciate the effort that everyone has put in to just spend some time with me! And thanks all for the lovely pressies!!! And I had a marvelous few days on a teeny island. Plenty of alone time on the hammock, watching the day go by. Think every once in a while, we do need to just slow down, and appreciate all that is around us.

Of new songs

2008-11-24T21:19:00.002+08:00

Have been taking advantage of this period of "nil" audits to catch up on songs, be it watching my fav TV program, or just simply surfing around for new songs. In the past few weeks, found a few new singers (new to me) that I like such as 方大同, 魏如昀, etc and what do you know, just got my latest "CD pack" and I have been saved the problem of searching for it by myself! Thanks! Well.. this song has been on my repeat list for the past few days... super soothing voice, though I'll much rather listen then watch him. No idea why the taiwanese gals think he is so cute.

缺席- 黃靖倫
爱只剩下躯壳
为什么还不放逐却拉着
是我不敢信还是不舍
为何我还在固执的拔河
其实我真的很难过
只是难过都沦为沉默
可能我真的不懂得

让你更快乐

我想和你在你一起
却在你未来缺席给你的爱
那些美丽
已长成蔓藤缠住我的生命
在你的未来缺席像是一出剧本
未完待续预留伏笔
把未完成从容继续
如果还有如果
就算瞬间老去毫不犹豫
爱是不是都一样
不论多漫长终究剧终人散
可是我不想因为不敢却不剧散
然后半途收场
其实我真的很难过
只是难过都沦为沉默
可能我真的不懂得让你更快乐
我想和你在一起
却在你未来缺席
给你的爱那些美丽
已长成蔓藤缠住我生命
在你的未来缺席
像是一出剧本未完待续
预留伏笔让未完成从容继续
如果还有如果
拥抱你不犹豫
能不能将你的样子都忘掉
舍不舍得爱让我控制不了
只想要把你要拥抱
其实爱上一个人没有解药
我的经脉留着爱陪你到老
原来我还会微笑
我真的想和你在一起
却在你未来缺席

在你的未来缺席
像是一出剧本未完待续
预留伏笔把未完成从容继续
如果还有如果
就算瞬间老去毫不犹豫

A Tad...

2008-11-20T23:37:00.003+08:00

It all went blank in a flash, slowly replaced by this huge blur, then everything came back into focus. I seriously think migranes just aren't supposed to be this scary. Three full days of pain, followed by the numbness, and now this. My entire week seems to have been tracked by my daily progress. Waking up every morning, tipping my head a little side to side, testing for some reaction... reminds me of the days when I overindulged and woke up in the morning fearful of that hangover.

This year seems to be plagued with its fare share of medical woes. Like the BEB says, I seem to be forever sick. Feels like that to me too. Can't seem to climb out of this hole that I've dug. Went for a swim with PR in the hope that some exercise will help. And I am glad that I did. If anything, I felt more refreshed and relaxed. Swims always seem to have that effect for me. And there was plenty of bonding with PR in betweens, i.e., we were two of those gals that just stood in the water chatting whilst the boys started pulling in their laps. I seriously think guys take exercise way too seriously. Hee.

The bad part is... I just up-ed and left the pile of work to go for the swim. Think this week has been just that tad bit more vexing. It's one of those do or die weeks at work, since the QR starts on Monday. Have tons to catch up on... and I still have not mastered the art of saying no to more, but yet, my body keeps giving off these "stop" signals. A little hard to ignore when your eyes tear on their own accord. And so, I obey... but then I can't stop fretting, and now I wish I've brought it home with me. How typical.

Am I afraid? I don't really know, a little... as much as I try to scoff it off. After all, this is something quite new, and it never used to take me this long to bounce back. In my moment of weakness I casually asked S to accompany me to the docs on Tuesday, but she was busy. Of coz, when T asked me to GO see one, I brushed it aside. Yet I called bestest immediately after to talk, but he was too busy as well. That all happened in my 5 mins of panic. In the end, guess I just handled it my way, and for the record, there is nothing wrong, and I got it covered. I feel ok, but yet I don't, and that frustrates me. Just don't want to over react. Oh well, cross my fingers that this will turn out to be another false alarm.

Partially Stalked

2008-11-07T11:00:00.003+08:00

Just realised that someone has been digging around for information about me... so scary, and memorised facts about my life! Double scary... thankfully this site is not that accessible. Anyways, guess this is a request to those of my friends who have linked this blog to theirs to "de-link".

Why partial? Haha... because I do know the person, and I did give out certain information (e.g. msn) freely. Tsk Tsk.

Mesmerized

2008-11-02T12:48:00.003+08:00

The new look.... Rock and Roll

Lee Hom at his best... on the piano... he is so so so good!!!

Lee Hom on the violin.... quick, "wish upon a star" that he will be back again soon!

Just needed to note this down: 1 Nov 2008, finally attended a Wang Lee Hom concert!!! Theorectically, with the girls, but ended up with MT instead. Hee... But it was still loads of fun!

Was definitely behaving like a 15 year old, but he is so darn cute! And talented! I never ever knew he could sing so well (or could forget so much of his own lyrics *tee hee*). When he was on the violin and the piano, I was ENCHANTED. Really just in a dazed like state, enthralled. I think MT was having a good laugh at how "crush like" I could get, but I think she was too! If we were with the other gals, I think I would have been alot alot worse. Hee.

Love it that he sang 一首简单的歌. I think I was on a high the entire night. I think I've fallen all over again. Could watch the concert on "Repeat" mode... well, it's on repeat in my mind!!! To date my best ever concert yet.

Oh yeah, and we celebrated PRs bday too!

A week that blazed

2008-11-01T00:06:00.002+08:00

It's been a pretty weird week. Had work that really piled up. Sending emails at 3am. Little wonder that I am now down with a cold. But the funny thing is, this week, actually felt that the work that I was doing had some value. In my own little world, that is.

Went out on separate occasions with two peeps in the gang, who are currently on "cold war". Sighs, looks like this group needs to spend some time apart from each other. You know, at the end of the day, there really is no right and wrong, you just forgive and forget, yeah? Why let little events get in the way of the friendship? But then again, friendship seems to have lost its importance of late.... am babbling like an old lady again.

Got in touch with old man A again. And for the record, so that I will never forget, his birthday is 29 Oct. Weird though... I don't remember it at all. It's really not like me to totally forget someone's birthday if I knew it... yes, I'll forget the actual day, but the generic month? This time round I had no recollection of it. So we talked, or should we say, chatted... and seriously, some people's concept of love and relationships really boggles my mind. Sincerely hope that none of my other friends are that deluded. Certain things can really be curbed if (a) you put your mind to it; (b) you think about the people dear to you that you are hurting. But then again, as I type this, there are things that are hard to control as well. Arrrggghhh... these old fogeys have a way of screwing up my thought process.

To top off my werid week, went out with T and found that I did not enjoy myself as much as I usually do. Mayhaps coz I was sniffling away (I need to get well for WLH tomorrow!), or because I kept fretting about that powerpoint... whatever the case, just did not feel "right". Hope the wrongness disappears soon, it appears as though the walls are up AGAIN! Sighs.

Bumped into two pax of the Hall gang as well... bumping into these peeps from my other life is always disturbing, cannot quite explain it. Hearing talks about weddings, etc, and having all of them skirt around the topic of M. Oh well, when oh when will we finally grow up? Told them to give me a call when they next go out, wonder if they will. Will be fun meeting up with everyone again. Will he finally agree to be at the same place as me? Time will tell.

Helpless

2008-10-24T10:23:00.003+08:00

Just had recent conversations about the "dreariness" of work with two people whom I hold dear. Now, am not saying that I don't usually have my own litany of complaints about work... I do, in fact, Miss S and I just had a two hour dinner where we shared our work battles for the day. But the point is, we are mostly contented, happy and for all the story telling... it's just sharing of that day's experiences, and just "letting off some steam".For these two individuals, it's a different story altogether, what I heard was something very different. It was discontentment, and of the nature that could not be easily fixed, as it stems from idealism of what work IS.

Think it’s the value of worth that we learnt in school. Often we were told that when we finally embark into society, based on the education that we receive, we will be able to contribute, give advice, lead, etc. As such, many are demoralized when we realize that we apply maybe only a tenth of what we learnt at school in the work place, and that the classroom perfect scenarios just are not replicated in the world outside. A typical work day for most will be filled with admin, and the time wasting “P” word, politics… be it just pandering to the boss, fending off needless assignments, or posing in servitude to clients. Gone is the lofty impression that you are here to “create” value. After all, how much value can be created from packing the stationery cupboard? Wherein the value of many years of education when you are at the beck and call of the client just because he IS rich from birth?

Many, like Miss S and me, find the little joys of work that keep us happy. In a way, we throw much of the idealism out of the window, and take pride in the little assignments completed. If, along the way, we manage to avoid the spanners that get thrown in our way, or win some little battles, so much the better. Not saying that the way forward is to “ignore all”, but there is definitely a certain tolerance level built. But how do you explain that to those who feel that they need to be doing something meaningful, and that there is a need to be recognized for that work? Who hold on to the belief that the classroom scenario of “hard work will be rewarded in equal measures, all else being equal”? So I was thus somewhat speechless throughout the conversations. Recognised the “despair” that I was hearing on the other end, but totally helpless at trying to communicate a balance in opinion.

Of a Macs Birthday and Bag Shopping

2008-10-21T18:43:00.003+08:00

Attended a very interesting birthday celebration on Sunday... at this really ulu MacDonalds at Bukit Merah! Gosh... the last time I attended a Macs Bday party was... hmmm... fifteen years back? at Serene Centre I think.

So whose birthday were we celebrating? *Drumroll*............
A very "young" BEB's~~~

He tempted me with the Macs stationery. Haha.

It was fun though. These days birthday parties are always filled with elaborate dinners followed by copious amounts of alcohol. In a way, a party that started at 11.30am and ended at 2pm was refreshing indeed. On the guest list was a mixture of sec school friends and ex colleagues, and I think all had alot of fun laughing at old photos... There was still plenty of time to carry on with other errands (including packing the suitcase) after the birthday ended. Though I must say there were approximately 10 very sheepish adults that tried to creep out of the party room after, whilst the real kids waited their turn for the 2pm birthday party. I think we all took plenty of pictures that day (I definitely have not taken so many in a long long while), and I took my first pic with the BEB (under the Happy Birthday sign no less). To top off the entire childhood feel, we were all stranded outside the Macs due to the extremely heavy rain. Boy, it was secondary school times all over again.

So much for secondary school days... what isn't very secondary school was my bag spree part 2!!! New York went by in a flash, no thanks to the boss who decided that he had to milk our trip for what it was worth.... 9pm meetings meant that I barely caught a glimpse of the much hyped about city. I kinda regretted not forking out the extral moolah for another night's stay... but, well, there's always a second chance rite?

Anywyas, back to the bag spree... I was in search of a particular bag (have you ever heard of a Coach bag for guys?) which I saw on Coach website, so I ended up at the really big store on Madison. And... what can I say... I left a much poorer person. But I must say, alot of it was due to excellent service rendered by the staff there. Having found the bag in question, I was still very hesistant on purchasing it. The very nice "auntie" promptly requested that two of her male colleagues model it for me, catwalk and all. Seeing how the bags fit on my impromptu models, I must say that all my doubts vanished. And of course, there was the usual bag for myself, for mum, etc...

And to wrap all that off... I am now the "proud" owner of a new backpack! Haha... super branded one no less. The purchase was thanks to my mum's bad influence yesterday.

A Good Break

2008-10-04T15:06:00.003+08:00

It's a little weird to consider being back at home as a good break... but that's really how I feel. Since Shanghai, it's been two and a half weeks of well, just being, in SG, catching up with friends and all. Amazingly, it has actually been a pretty busy 2.5 weeks at work, but somehow, just feel happy being back. Guess I truly know the feeling of "home is the best".

Have had quite a few opportunities to do the dinners and the pampering session. Had the worst crink in my neck the other day, so much so that I had to subject myself to one of those tui na sessions where I had to resist the temptation of telling the aunty to stop coz I could not figure which pain was worse. Unfortunately, I think the crink is still there, and I "look forward" to more sessions with the auntie.

Unknowingly, I had a second round of "birthday" celebrations. First, dinner with mum and the family at Sweet, Salty, Spicy. Have heard alot about this place, and was looking forward to thai food... Unfortunately, think the place was a tad too noisy, and the food, a tad too catered towards the expat crowd... the search for good thai food continues. Then came the surprise bday celebration for Miss ene... that was good old fashioned fun. Though it was a Monday, we ended up at her place chatting till almost midnight, poor PR had to drive all the way back home.

Had my first "aunty" birthday party... the littlest bunny turned 1!!!! OMG! Balloons, cupcakes, little piglets and ang pow packets... how not to feel OLD!!! Haha... the little one was so fat and chubby, she resembled the little piglets on her bday cupcakes. Definitely a replica of her dad. And then there was the hastily put together celebration for J. As usual, out with the two guys, I always feel most at ease. It's amazing how J can be so totally candid with his feelings despite the many years of marriage and him climbing the corporate ladder. Was thinking that we were gonna end up hitting the clubs, but I guess age has finally set in, and the bday boy... errr... I mean man, went home before the cinderella hour. Which left T and me looking for a quiet place as usual.... and we actually found one at Clarke Quay! Will wonders ever cease. Beautiful place, lovely music, definitely somewhere I will return to. And since the site is a temporary one, hopefully it will be soon. Unfortunately, with T embarking on the next stage in his life, and one out of the country, guess it won't be with these two old friends.

Birthday celebrations aside, I managed to squeeze time in for lunch with old friends (it's been more than a month since I had lunch at Maxwell with MT!), go clubbing (my first visit to MOS), have the yummiest dinner ever (the two xmms and me ate up a storm at OSO - 3 appetiesers, 1 soup, 3 main courses and 2 desserts!), and today... spend the entire day at home enjoying the sun, the tv, and even the housework. Definitely two weeks packed with social events, but really enjoyed every moment

Another Song

2008-09-24T13:35:00.003+08:00

Heard this on tv not too long ago... decided to take a second listen, and decided that I like it!

想你的习惯 - 小宇

就这样简单你走过来
而我终于明白了
自己为何要存在
慢慢的我已经离不开
因为我以爱上你了
没有任何感应的
如果我说，
爱你能不能永远相信
这一天我想跟着你
跟你说你最爱的笑话
我想以后都能在一起
每天想着你以变成习惯
一直幻想你在我身边
牵着你的手我和你甜蜜的走
世界宽的有一些无奈
为何我只有一个
该怎么不怕孤单哦，
说好了我们都要勇敢
就算不小心迷路了
也能够听见你的
如果我说爱你能不能永远相信
这一天我想跟着你
跟你说你最爱的笑话
我想以后都能在一起
每天想着你以变成习惯
一直幻想你在我身边
牵着你的手我和你甜蜜的走
找到你的心多完美
所有感觉多特别
想带你走到世界边缘
未来（未来），
不变这一天我想跟着你
跟你说你最爱的笑话
我想以后都能在一起
每天想着你以变成习惯
一直幻想你在我身边
牵着你的手我和你甜蜜的走
我和你甜蜜的走

Mumbai Photos

2008-09-16T22:34:00.003+08:00

Photos from Mumbai... cannot help but feel very lucky after being there.

Uniformity... the better taxis all lined up prettily in a row

"Decent" Housing

Another form of "Housing" - tents on the street

No housing at all... this is a family cooking their dinner under a bridge

And the famed bus with people piled on...

Bag Crazy

2008-09-16T22:32:00.001+08:00

Anyone who knows my shopping habits will have figured that bags rank high in my shopping priority and is the one item which I lose all rationality over. (Well, stationery is the other, but the impact to the wallet is immaterial). Having said that, it’s a wonder that I have never received a bag as my birthday present. (Hint!)

I have sort of lost count on the number of bags that I actually own, but I am pretty sure we are still counting by the tens rather than by the hundreds. J I tend to see “beauty” in most bags, and can find a myriad of supposed “uses”. It never fails to amaze when I declare “But I don’t have a bag that can fit xxx purpose!!!.

Till late last year, no one has made a fuss on my bag spree. That’s mostly coz I’ve restricted purchases to the affordable category (i.e. SGD 100 is an expensive bag), living by the motto of quantity rather than brand. But since my expedition to Hawaii last year… oh my… I seem to have “upped” my standards. I count at least 12 bags in the last 12 months (1 bag per mth!), of which at least half have exceeded my so defined “affordable” category. As a result, I daren’t bring my new bags home least my mother starts fussing! And it appears as though once the bug bites… it doesn’t really stop…

Found myself surfing the web (when I am supposed to be working! Sighs!) for bags to buy on my upcoming New York trip. It all started when the itchy feet of mine stepped into Coach at the airport… and I spotted a very pretty bag from their Zoe collection. Next thing I knew, spent at least half an hour with the BEB via MSN looking at Coach and LV bags… haha… two shopaholics. Obviously he was very “encouraging” on my proposed spends.

To buy or not to buy… that’s the question on my mind. Figure that if I leave it well alone, the urge to buy will subside (or at least I hope so). After all, I am still recovering from my Hong Kong extravagance. Guess we’ll just have to play by ear when I reach New York.

Living in Style in Shanghai

2008-09-16T21:51:00.006+08:00

So I just had my first experience of Shanghai as an "expatriate" from Singapore. Hitherto, all my trips here have been budget experiences, coupled with the fact that I normally stay far far away, in the "Woodlands" equivalent. With the new co, I finally got to stay in "Orchard Road", and enjoy the luxury of having good food and shopping available at every turn.

Of course, it did not help that Miss L decided to tag along and make use of the free accomodation. As a result, we spent majority of the time eating out in style, somewhat determined to sample the different offerings as stated on the Luxe guide. Amazingly enough, I had sampled quite a couple of the restaurants before... but never in a continuous stretch. (As a result, I hereby resolve to hit the pool when I get back home!!!) Anyways, think the gal outdid herself shopping, shopping and more shopping! And I guess she was somewhat amazed at the chinese "culture" (or lack thereof). At times, I felt almost like a veteren... haha.

The two of us were rather excited about spending mid autumn here... but were rather disappointed to find out that although it's important enough for it to be a public holiday, the Mid Autumn atmosphere was obviously missing.... no mooncake booths around, no decorations, no lanterns, and due to the rain and "smog", no MOON! When I mentioned this to a colleague, he actually said that there's actually very little emphasis placed on the traditional festivals here, and that you will find that there's a much bigger hoo-ha over Christmas and Valentine's day! For some reason, I found that quite sad. Asking around, most of the locals I talked to actually did not know the stories behind Mid Autumn... somehow I found that slightly disturbing.

Guess in a way, that pretty much co-relates with what I feel about this country, it's a land of extremes. There is this age old culture, and yet, it's not really passed on; It was a civilisation way back, yet, how do you account for the spitting, the open toilet doors, and the habit of rolling up the t-shirt to expose the belly. This is the place where kids clothes have a slit in the pants to better facilitate kids bowel movements on the streets. Shanghai especially lulls you into thinking it's a safe and developed haven (so much so that Miss L kept forgetting to lock the door!), yet, there are plenty of pickpockets and pleasant girls loitering outside 5 star hotels. The starting pay of a graduate is supposed to be around RMB 2,000 even in Shanghai, yet, most of the stuff I see in the shops are more expensive than their equivalent in SG (SGD 100 for a simple top). Sometimes I really find it hard to reconcile these extremes, and do admire those friends of mine that have decided to venture here. During the clubbing session on Friday, as they were "basking" in the company of their newly acquired "girlfriends" for the night, L and I could not help but observe that most of the guys actually felt quite lonely. Mayhaps that's why they find a need to over-indulge in alcohol every weekend.

The Usual Happy Birthday

2008-08-27T00:20:00.002+08:00

How apt... the clock strikes 12, and I log on to my Skype account just to look at the conversations that S&S have had for the day. Your name props up... it's super random as you hardly even know little S. I stop whatever I do for just that moment, as I always do at the mention of you, and then, I realise... it's your birthday.

Maybe it's Facebook, but you have been turning up quite a bit... simple act of photos browsing and I see you. And guess what? In some ways, you just have not changed, have not aged. Looks like life has been treating you well. It's been 5 years now? One would think that that's time enough to heal... but has it? I pick up the phone, tempted to text you happy birthday... the phone goes down again, the text unsent, but the well wishes are there.

Night out in Mumbai

2008-08-22T20:24:00.003+08:00

This email was a couple of days after... unfortunately this night out also resulted in my getting a bad stomach upset.

Hello All...

Just thought that I'll update on my night out yesterday even though no one is really responding... wonder where is my little sis. (Only my dad seems to be the "free" person who replies with many interesting comments)

Anyways, yesterday the colleagues brought us out to dinner, an Indian Seafood dinner to be exact, and I had my first "taste" of real Mumbai. I finally figured out what is so "special" about the roads here... there are no lane markings! So everyone pretty much drives/walks as though it's a free for all, and you squeeze into every little space. At some amazing traffic junctions, traffic is almost "zig zag", and a short drive can really give you heart palpitations considering the number of times that we manged to break a mere couple of cms from the bumper/legs of the car in front / person in front. However, my local colleague told me that Mumbai is actually considered organsied as opposed to Delhi... can't imagine how it is there. But yes, after two weeks here, don't think I will ever complain about SG traffic.

The other interesting attribute about Mumbai is that the "upmarket" area is side by side with the not so "upmarket" area. So maybe on the right there could be a shopping complex, but on the left are people selling the day's farm produce on the pavement (yup, no carts, just on the pavement). Quite different from most other cities where there is always a clear "posh" area. Apparently, this is unique to Mumbai. And the sheer number of people on the roads. Wow. Think serangoon's little india with 10 times the number of people in the same space. For a city that is much bigger than SG, but with a population that is only slightly more than 3 times bigger (13.5m), I wonder why it just looks that much more crowded.

Dinner was at a place that would have been only 5 minutes drive from the office, but it took us about half an hour. There is construction going on everywhere now and we parked in a still being built multi storey car park. Yeap... you read it right, it was still being built. First time I stepped into a "WIP" building.

Indian seafood is yummy. Tried tandoori crabs yesterday. Spicy but yummy. And instead of chapati, had bharkri, which is another "prata" like thing, except that it's made of rice with coconut milk. People here have dinner really late, like 9.30pm, so when we reached the restaurant at 8.00pm, we were the only ones there. Imagine 10 different people serving just one table... hee... Anyway, thanks to all the curry and carbo filled food that I have been eating, my weighing machine tells me that I have been steadily putting on weight... so don't be surprised if I come back fatter!

If you are wondering why I am writing yet another long email... it's coz we gave the files to the photocopy boy yesterday (yes, they have people here who are just in charge of photocopying)... and of course, he's not done yet (or he's not in office yet)... which leaves me with pretty much nothing to do at the moment!

All ritey, hope this has provided you with an amusing read. Huggies!

And this was the reply I got from my dad. Yes, I do think that he is very hilarious.

Aaahh...I am feeling claustrophobic already. Read alot about bad traffic in Indian cities before. Good thing that it is someone else who is experiencing it and narrating the details (so mean). Hope you have pictures to support your travelogue....will be good that you build upon it during each travel. There is always something new, something interesting, something unique to remember.

Food, glorious food ! Have you spotted any cereals with curry in the breakfast menu yet? Well if you want to try, make sure there is a toilet nearby first. (For the record, yes, there are such options, but I think I will leave it to the very end of my trip before I even consider trying)

Have some more discurries... oops I mean discoveries.

Me 1 (since no one else has replied).

First Impressions of Mumbai

2008-08-22T20:13:00.003+08:00

There just doesn't seem to be enough time to udpate my blog, keep in touch with friends/family as I bustle around the world. This time round though, I've shot off a couple of emails to my family... and so I thought, this would be a good way to kill two birds in one stone. This way at least, I have some ways of keeping my first thoughts of India.

Hi Hi,

I promised mummy that I'll send an email about my first impressions of Mumbai...

Hmmm... where do I start:

1) Flight & Arrival
I must admit that I never appreciated "Business Class" travel so much until this flight. On the trip to Aussie, the "sua ku" me did not know how to handle all the controls. This time round though, I could curl up and sleep (a little). More importantly though, it could keep me from the "reality" of going to Mumbai for a little while more, though it was really weird to hear all the plane announcements in Tamil(?)(I learnt after that it was in Hindi)

Upon my arrival at the airport... reality struck. The entire airport is still under construction. Hee Hee. But we actually went through immigration and baggage collection in a record fast time, so I must say I was rather impressed.

2) Trip to Hotel
Again, I was thanking my lucky stars that I am not travelling under Pxx policy as I cannot imagine having to take a local cab to the hotel. Will show you pictures when i get back, but there was no way the local cabs could take S's and my luggage! And this was the more expensive cab already! The cheaper versions are super run down tut tuts... I must say that China roads are much more developed than Indian ones, even the ulu parts of China that I go to... or maybe, it's just that the China roads are more well maintained... the roads and the buildings here are in terrible condition. Was just telling J last night that this has got to be the poorest living conditions that I have ever seen.

3) Everything else
Hotel is brilliant. As in comfy and smell-less. The service here is good and in general even the people on the streets are friendly. We were walking around like lost ducks for a couple of minutes trying to find the office, and everyone we asked tried to help. So yeah, definitely found the people here friendly. Food wise, I think I am going to abstain from Indian food once I get back. Day 2 and I am "scared" already. Ate in the office canteen today... hee... will let you know if I get a stomach upset in a bit. Am so glad I brought all my food supplies over as apart from the hotel, there are no decent shops around for you to buy groceries etc. But thanks to my brilliant forsight, I've got biscuits, coffee, sweets, chocolates and cup noodles and plenty of BOOKS for the days that I need comfort. And judging from the work... I do need plenty of comfort indeed! (I also have with me Jap anime and the discs I took from the BEB)

In conclusion... this place is not as "scary" as the descriptions I've heard. However, in comparison to the other emerging market, China, most visitors would have a greater difficulty adjusting here as everything is just in disrepair, and there are just no amenities available. Whilst China gives you the feeling of wealth right now... there is still a very obvious poverty gap here.

Hee... what a long email. Coz eating in the canteen means that we spend a really short time at lunch! Gonna go attempt to swim later today... yesterday's attempt had me yelping out of the water as it is so cold!

Miss ya all! Huggies!

Birthdays and the thots that come with it

2008-08-21T14:48:00.000+08:00

So my yearly August celebrations were all in "fast forward" mode this year as I scrambled to do all my well wishes within my limited period in SG. For a change though, there was no scrambling to get bday presents for everyone as Hong Kong provided me with the perfect opportunity to pick up stuff for all the folks.

Had a mini celebration with T right in the beginning of the month, a whole 20 days before the actual day. It's become pretty much a ritual really... this little get together in August. Really enjoyed that little night out... the quiet beginning at the pizza joint, talking to the really young waiter from Nepal, I think he really thought the two of us were an old married couple or something. Considering that it was my first weekend back home, I was just really glad to be back in familiar territory, hanging out at old joints, enjoying company with whom there was really no need to entertain. Even silences are comfortable... that's the beauty of home I guess. Think I always thought that there are similarities between T and a certain other friend, and so I was somewhat tickled when we ended up at Arab? street... hee, I really don't know where exactly with J and P, listening to jazz. Never been to the area in my entire life, and all of a sudden, I've paid multiple visits to this area in this year. Will definitely come back here again... if only to just chill out on the sofas at the top floor.

Had a "surprise" birthday celebration for Ms ED at Barracks as well... well, kinda "surprise" coz she knew about it in the end... and she gave me a right o scare by declaring that she did not wanna come out. Grrrr... Anyways, it was a tad funny coz there was a new addition to the group this time round, as S has gotten attached yet again! All in all, though it was a rather subdued celebration, thought it was nice that we are all out catching up after so long! Must really meet up again soon.

Ended my week of meeting up with peeps by meeting the ex teammates for drinks and chicken wings, BEB and L for dinner, and having a massive farewell party for the tons of people leaving the ex department (I think the count is close to 10!) Will admit that I enjoyed the "little" gatherings more than the large scale ones as it was just more relaxed and laid back. Listening to the old office gossip without having a real care, or just the BEB and L rib each other (as usual) was just more entertaining than having to answer for the millionth time how I was adjusting to my "new" job. Was very thankful that we did not have to eat prawn noodle again, and I will forever remember the pepper shaker incident. Next up, Broth?

On a semi related note, the SB saw me wrapping up my various pressies and writing cards, and he commented that it was a waste of time. Hmmm... I don't know. For me, a pressie is just that more meaningful when it comes wrapped and with a card. Mayhaps in our modern materialistic society, the value of the present may have overtaken all the personal touches involved (the SB tells me he buys his own bday presents and "claims" the value from his friends)... but I guess I'm still old fashioned. The gifts were not the most expensive (heart was willing, but pocket was empty), but think it took me a longer time to choose my little gifts then for me to purchase stuff for myself... and wrapping them up is just my way of saying I care. :)

Memories of Hong Kong

2008-08-20T15:49:00.001+08:00

The usual "on the plane" photo

" Olympic atmosphere"

Egg tarts... not usually my fav, but these were yummy... I miss them already!

Oishii desu!!!

And how can a visit be complete without the famous desserts!

Things I wanna Do

2008-08-03T18:01:00.002+08:00

1. Exercise - need to burn out all that dim sum
2. Swim (or rather, work on my tan)
3. Alteration - I need to alter all my jeans/pants before they can be put to use! Need to do this really soon. Can't wait to wear all my new clothes.
4. Meet my sis! Wanna show her all the stuff I bought
5. Celebrate the bdays

Now, I have a total of 12 days in SG before I fly off again. Wonder if I will be able to do all this in time. Hmmm..

All about shopping

2008-08-03T17:10:00.004+08:00

Yes, this is a shopping entry. Though I was supposed to stay in and work today, I ended up hitting the shops again. I seriously think I've spent half my pay this month on the shops. Tee Hee.

HK is a land of pretty short skirts and bags. The pretty bags are really driving me slightly insane... there's an Agnes B in almost every shopping centre, and everyone on the streets from the little 14 year old BOY to the 58 year old auntie is carrying something nice and fashionable. Wait, even the Filipino domestic helpers are carrying nike, adidas or puma bags. But then with their considerably higher salary (about SGD 800/mth), I guess they are more able to afford the bags. Surprisingly though, I've only bought 3 bags and two skirts. Guess that's what happens when you are spoilt for choices... no one bag/skirt shines through.

One thing about being here for so many days is that I've been given the opportunity to "explore" hong kong fashion. Whilst past shopping expeditions have been very much centred on familiar brands already available in SG... this time round, most of my purchases have been from brands which I've never looked at before. Upon the cuz's gf's recommendations, I checked out Island Beverely... it's like a cross between Far East Plaza and Siam Centre, full of local designers and where the main consumers are locals rather than the world's fav tourists ("WFT"). It was really interesting to look at the differnt shops... and of course I bought things that I would normally have never considered. Not gonna say that I changed my "style" totally... coz that would require me to have a fashion consultant along, but, I did buy some "weird" stuff. Btw, I realised on this trip that hk gals are all so slim... I seriously think that average BMI is like 16-17.

Started wondering what it was about HK that always had me shopping so much. It's definitely not coz things are cheap here... So, after much consideration, here's my "list":
1) Sale is good... so you get to buy stuff from brands which you would never do normally.
2) Shops are huge... thus, selection is huge. If each brand had 100 items, you are bound to find something that you like
3) Service is good... when you have good service staff that pick up things that suit you, or match that pants or top that you pick... you end up buying way more than that original top/pants.
4) The weather. It's scorching here. The other day it went up to 37 degrees. With that weather, you are "forced" to seek refuge in the shopping centres, and get assualted by the 3 pts above.

So yes, that's my excuse for having spent this much $$. Currently, am pleased as punch with my purchases. Hopefully, will be able to wear them when I am back! Now, it's time to go back home so that I'll stop hitting the shops!

All I want is You

2008-08-02T23:20:00.000+08:00

If I was a flower growing wild and free
All I'd want is you to be my sweet honey bee.
And if I was a tree growing tall and greeen
All I'd want is you to shade me and be my leaves

If I was a flower growing wild and free
All I'd want is you to be my sweet honey bee.
And if I was a tree growing tall and greeen
All I'd want is you to shade me and be my leaves

All I want is you, will you be my bride
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
All I want is you, will you stay with me?
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were a river in the mountains tall,
The rumble of your water would be my call.
If you were the winter, I know I'd be the snow
Just as long as you were with me, when the cold winds blow.

All I want is you, will you be my bride
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
All I want is you, will you stay with me?
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were a wink, I'd be a nod
If you were a seed, well I'd be a pod.
If you were the floor, I'd wanna be the rug
And if you were a kiss, I know I'd be a hug

All I want is you, will you be my bride
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
All I want is you, will you stay with me?
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were the wood, I'd be the fire.
If you were the love, I'd be the desire.
If you were a castle, I'd be your moat,
And if you were an ocean, I'd learn to float.

All I want is you, will you be my bride
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
All I want is you, will you stay with me?
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

This song randomly came up as I set my iTunes on Shuffle. How apt. Just at the exact moment when I was feeling a tad lonely in my little room, craving a hug and some company. Hee. Brought back memories of watching Juno. Of never ever getting any work done on Fridays as I was looking forward to Friday nights and the Company… the conversation and the walks. Miss the walks. Think that anticipations are really so “teenage”. There’s this one scene where he tentatively cuddles up to her and they just snuggle. I thought it was especially sweet. Perfect really. So different from the complications that settle in later. Need to watch it again. Dreamy now.

Shopping Paradise, Expenditure H...

2008-07-31T22:33:00.003+08:00

Was just lamenting to the BEB earlier this week that this shopping expedition to HK has not been very successful. And the sagely one told me to "take my time and slowly walk/browse". True enough, I spent the past couple of nights walking around Causeway Bay after work... and lo and behold... I now need to worry for my wallet! At this point of time, I'm a tad wary about tallying up my purchases... the danger of credit cards with is... you don't even stop to consider how much you have spent, coz you never ever run out of "borrowed money". Hee...

Am super happy with all my purchases though... certain items were "expensive", in the sense that I think I've just purchased my most expensive Tshirt, pair of jeans as well as a denim skirt! But then again... I really am in love with my new purchases... so I shall worry more when the credit card bill comes! My newest self delusional theory is that since I am gonna be spending a good portion of the next month in Mumbai... time enuff to save then. Hiaz, if only I still had per diem, then I seriously won't think twice about shopping. *giggles*

Have got another weekend left in HK. Gosh, I wonder how much more damage I can do. Must find something for the sis though, have not been able to get anything for her this time round. *ponder ponder*

Inspired by a Dinner!!!

2008-07-31T22:18:00.000+08:00

Really does not take much to keep me happy and going I think. Despite the fact that this is the beginning of my “busy” season, I’ve been in relatively high moods as I set to tackle all that has been set out. This week in particular has really been a mixture of highs and lows. Highs coz I managed to go shopping in HK with S&S (sounds like the firm brand really, but thankfully it’s not). It was really amusing to see the Skunk hit the shops like a gal. And of course my attempt at reinventing his wardrobe failed miserably… I seriously had no idea that he is THAT skinny. Forever planted in my mind will now be the picture of him in checkered berms. *guaffaw*

Unfortunately, the weekend passed way too fast, and I received that horrible email from that Partner… who had to place me in the spotlight, and caused me to extend my stay in HK. Sighs… I think I’ve got way loads to learn in weighing the consequences of my actions. But things ain’t all that bad: I learnt that the Frog ain’t coming to SG after all, so no bad karma… but that unfortunately does not keep my boss away. Looks like it’s gonna be OT for me next Weds nite whilst I struggle “valiantly” to clear the back log. I shall NOT go shopping on either Sat/Sun, it’s time I did some serious work in the hotel. Plus, I dread to think about the credit card bills that will be greeting me when I get back. Whoever said the summer sale has great deals forgot to add in that it’s great deals for all the big brands… so the resultant impact to the wallet is still substantial indeed.

The highlight of this trip was definitely the food. The dim sum at Lei Gardens had me literally making all those act cute faces that you see on the Taiwanese entertainment programs. Then there was this really lovely dinner at Cova? Would love to put up all the photos but I will have to wait for S to pass them to me. And his track record is not impressive. And of course there was last night… Dinner with D at Zuma. Actually read up on the place and the reviews were very mixed. Quality of food was strictly dependent on what you ordered, and service was supposed to be “French Like”, i.e. bad. The restaurant is located at the super atas Landmark. Anyone who has seen the Landmark will know that nothing in there is affordable.

What can I say. I really enjoyed the dinner. Of all the “problems” quoted in the bad reviews… hee, well, D’s a regular and knows the manager, so we had no problems with the service nor the food choice, though I would not recommend the spider maki to anyone… it’s “fishy”, for lack of a better term. The cocktails there were impressive, and super potent. Think the next time the gang makes it down, would definitely head to the bar there (provided we are willing to pay the SGD 20 per cocktail price... think Raffles Hotel).

Good food and great company. That was more or less sufficient to put me in a good mood to tackle the numbers all over again. As well as this determination to be able to afford the dinner by myself the next time round. Haha. Talking with a person who easily earns 5 times my pay is “inspiring” indeed. He of course had to remind me that we had the same foundation and opportunities… and I could have made better use of it. Think that’s the main difference between the sis and me. She actually considers her potential and the remuneration before taking up a job. I put a lot more other things into consideration instead, and money has never been the biggest consideration. Mayhaps that’s why the moves I’ve made have never been the brightest (horizontal moves rather than vertical?) Funnily enough, was asked yesterday by someone in the office if I wanted to relocate to HK. This place really has a lot more scope and depth than back home. Think I would have grabbed at this opportunity a couple of years back. Now… oh well, mayhaps… it’s a good place for starting anew and to see how far I can actually go? Time to pick up Cantonese!

2008-07-16T08:46:00.003+08:00

There must be something about getting old that makes one teary eyed. Mayhaps the tear ducts just function better with age. Whatever the case, was strangely emotional whilst attending the little one's Commencement last Saturday.

7 years appears both short and long depending on which little angle we are staring at. It's long enough for a change in naming convention. What used to be a Convocation is now a Commencement, and what used to be just simple Orientation / Matriculation is now a Convocation. 7 years definitely brought about a change in what was considered acceptable undergraduate behaviour, and this was extremely evident in the school video screened. Whilst the video at my own graduation ceremony was full of orientation moments (i.e. students running around in big tees, big shorts, and getting all muddy and dirty), the sis's video had plenty of footage pertaining to hot dance costumes (i.e. almost nothing), and beer. I am sure my parents would have cringed if there was a shot of my sis in one of the skimpy salsa costumes, but mayhaps, the other parents have gotten more liberal. However, looking at everyone in their gowns, I could not help but remember my own convocation with vivid detail, and of taking photos with everyone. And listening to the conversations, well, some things just don't change with time.

Must say I was pretty impressed by the speeches given by the students. There was a good balance of humour with emotion, and the delivery was impeccable. At that point of time, I realised the difference in the different universities educational style, and I must say that the school culture is very strong indeed. The students definitely surpassed their deans in their articulation and pronunciation... as the deans of the different schools had the mother and me trying hard to repress our laughter throughout their speech.

Though the parents did not say it, I think they were very happy on that day. After all, I know that my parents have always felt the pressure of bringing two slightly problematic daughters all the way to university. Well, contrary to their belief, I think the little sis and I are quite grounded, and in many ways, pretty sure about what we want. Hopefully, now that this phase in life is complete, they will learn to relax.

Club Month

2008-07-06T21:10:00.003+08:00

It's really starting to become a trend... once a year, there will be a stretch where I start on my clubbing streak. This year looks like the month has come slightly early. After the Zouk outing last week, went out with the ex colleagues to St James last Friday. And... never thought that I would say this about clubbing with the colleagues (after all, I never ever did it during my tenure with the firm), but it was really quite fun!

20+ people, in one room, and hitting the dance floor. Think K and I really do get along quite a bit... even our taste in clubbing is similar! Next thing I knew, it was 4am... and I had consumed way too much alcohol. Spent the entire Sat vegging at home, way too tired to go out. H and I were trying to pass me off as a first yearer who has left the firm.. damn funnie... but I think we actually did manage to pull it off. That's how much alcohol that was flowing... so much so that the senior people actually believed us.

The night out was a pretty good cure for the "homesickness" that I was feeling earlier in the day. It was good to be mixing around with people again, and not just being a "ghost". Suddenly, work did not seem so fearsome... it just takes a bit of getting used to, and yes, learning to build those bridges all over again.

Honest Reflections

2008-07-06T21:06:00.002+08:00

At times, I still cannot shake off that feeling inside. Today was a singularly unproductive day at work. In part, it was because the only real task I had was the very one that I hate to do... documentation. I am one of those people who love to undertand the process, dig up the issues and then am utterly lazy at trying to put my thought process down
on paper. I only do so when there is a gun pointing at my head.

Had one of those stomach churling days today... the one where I am totally craving a drink, and wanting to visit the toilet... and you know, there's really nothing that I should be nervous about. Except that I am...

Been caught in this political turf battle at work, and I find all my work being scruntinised. There's this fear that I've not done a thorough job. Worse, been told that the guys at Head Office are coming down to do a QR... Hiaz, does not get much worse than this.

Feeling unsettled. And as much as I loathe to admit it, I know the reason why. Promos and bonuses were announced at the old place early this week. Cannot help but wonder how I would have done, and how much $$ did I walk away from. Coupled with that... am gonna be meeting my old bosses really soon... and I don't know how to answer the "Are you happy" question. It's bugging me, this moving out of my comfort zone. And the expectations that others have on me... and the knowledge that I am not even meeting the ones that I have set for myself. I think about the upcoming assignments and I feel this sinking in the stomach. All the turf war nonsense is really beyond my ability to grasp and manage at times. Hiaz.

Most of call, I crave that feeling of resoultion. It's been a while and I am still being plagued by it. Not so often in my waking moments, but often in my dreams. Time only heals when there's an effort to move.

Amusingly, bumped into A again the other day... whilst having coffee with the S. This time round, he did come by to say hi, and to pass me his card. Strangers again. How fickle human relationships can be.

谁教我是真的爱你

2008-07-03T09:23:00.002+08:00

Found this song... have not heard it in years... brought back alot of old memories! In a way, I still love it... Guess who?

为何让你知道我流泪
对我付出了真心我又拒绝
其实我并不是不爱你
只是不知该如何珍惜
我们之间不该有承诺
怕你遇见她之后反悔
虽然你也曾深著我
我却坦然的让你远走高飞

谁教我是真的爱你
谁教我是真的疼你
若把你的人留下而你的心却己飘走
我又为何要做一个无情意的人
谁教我是真的爱你
谁教我是真的疼你
你说你舍不得走
忍住泪不让你回头
谁教我是真的爱著你

为何让我知道你流泪
对你付出了真心你又拒绝
虽然你无奈地流下眼泪
我却坦然地让你远走高飞

谁教我是真的爱你
谁教我是真的疼你
若把你的人留下而你的心却己飘走
我又为何要做一个无情意的人
谁教我是真的爱你
谁教我是真的疼你
我是真的让你走忍住泪不让你回头
谁教我是真的爱著你
谁教我是真的爱著你

Weekends

2008-06-28T18:00:00.002+08:00

It's a working person's trait... we try means and ways to prolong our weekend. And last night, a couple of us attempted to do so by "partying" the night away. Went out with the gang plus a "little" boy ... L ... why little? Coz L really reminded me of a young boy, in one of his first few nights out. Anyways, hope that he had fun with us last night, we were really quite tame for a change. Know I was quite distracted for bits of the night... told S that I actually felt "unprepared". Hee... as one grows older, we really have weird fears!

Crashed out due to pure exhaustion today.. in fact... am still sleepy NOW!

Comedy of Errors

2008-06-22T16:57:00.002+08:00

Last night started out with a couple of missed appointments, first with Miss ED who fell asleep after texting me about dinner and movie, then with the BEB and L (mayhaps this was a tad more contrived).

As it ended up, was at Borders browsing books until the two S's came along to have dinner (at 10pm!) and we went down to our usual haunt for some good wine. Miss Shanghai was so longing for some "fine" red wine that we ended up opening a bottle of red that was packaged like a champagne. For a moment, I really feared for my wallet. Can tell that S really missed being in Singapore... wonder if I "channel" the same feeling everytime I am back as well. Anyways, we made a date to enjoy the 1996 Mosswood the next time. Hee... time to get well soon!

This morning, we were supposed to have a "healthy" and "slimming" morning playing tennis followed by a swim but the rain came down. Sis, ZM, the Skunk and I did the total opposite and had a huge breakfast (more like lunch) of eggs, french toast, bacon and potatoes at... roberston quay! That's twice in 12 hours. Haha... The food at Epicurious was really quite good and it made for an affordable way to spend a lazy Sunday morning... but I really need to get my exercise soon!

Am gonna give Dad his belated Fathers Day prezzie tonight... am so excited to see his reaction!

Shoe Spree!

2008-06-15T22:23:00.002+08:00

Had a very "young" saturday... went out for a day of shopping with K yesterday. Have been on this hunt for "school shoe-ish" schools ever since I came back from Sydney. This sudden urge came about whilst walking everywhere in Sydney in my heels and realising that it would have been just so much more comfortable if I only had more comfy shoes... and then, on my last day in Sydney, I went around in my tracks, but felt so conscious about looking like a nerdish looking student. So yes, went on a shoe hunt yesterday with K.

Mayhaps it was shopping with someone with so much youthful energy (she's 4 years younger!). But we stopped from 2.15 to 6.30 without sitting down anywhere to rest! Think it's a record for me in SG. But yes, we had alot of fun... and we both went home extremely satisfied with our purchases. I bought a record 5 pair of shoes!!! and K went home with yet another GG<5>

So yes, K and I made a pact to do this next month again... either in SG or HK.... after all, we still have alot of KIV items from yesterday (I really really like this Agnes B bag... )

Me is Klutz!

2008-06-12T22:04:00.003+08:00

I canna believe it... but I managed to twist my ankle not once, but TWICE today! Was I daydreaming? I have no idea... but yup, on my way to work, I tripped over nothing and ended up on my knees. Sighs... and thank goodness for jeans, else I would have seriously scraped knees. Now I just have a sore wrist to contend with.

And then... when I was with my dad, I tripped over... yup... nothing again. Thankfully, dad was there to prevent me from landing n my poor knees again.

I vow to walk properly tomorrow... hee

Passage

2008-06-10T13:43:00.000+08:00

It’s been a while since it all ended
And I’m slowly settling into this new routine
But every once in a while
The screen flickers, and it’s as though I’m transported into another time
A few exchanges, a few laughs
All too soon though I realize where I am
And it’s time to move on again

CatchingUp

2008-06-08T13:56:00.002+08:00

There's something about home that I really miss. Everytime I leave for a long trip abroad, I come back missing home and scampering to meet up with all my friends and family. This trip was no different, and without really planning it, I had lunch and dinner plans for the entire week lined up.

And it was really such good fun... had dinner with PR and Miss Ene at Relish the other day, and we went over to Miss Ene's new place to check it out... was kinda cute seeing her play "host" and showing off all the renovations, lights and appliances. We are all so getting domesticated! Guess the funniest part of the night was our after dinner entertainment when we started playing Wii. It was my first time handling the controls and we had a huge bunch of laughs whilst trying to hit tennis balls, baseballs and boxing. I was so sure my arm would ache the next day.

Had lunch with La the next day. Nice guy as he was, he came all the way from Bukit Timah to have lunch with me. He was just back from spending the past 6 months in Melbourne, and we started talking about the differences between being overseas and back home. True, we do often complain about the little things about SG that irks us, but maybe it was coz both of us were spending time alone overseas, it gave us plenty of opportunity to miss everything about home!

As usual, I ended up the week telling myself that I would not wait for the next time I disappeared to make it a point to meet it up with all the peeps.

Whilst walking to work

2008-06-04T08:59:00.004+08:00

I figured out the answer to this question that everyone has been asking me... do I like my new job? One month of zipping in and out of SG and I still could not give a straight answer to this question... and yet, I could not quite put a finger to it exactly.

But then... during my little walk today, I finally got it. There are bits of this job that reminds me of the one that I left two years ago, and the most striking being that I don't understand my function in the scope of the entire company. Which is why despite the hours and the good travel comfort, I could not give the job a two thumbs up.

But having finally figured the "problem", I can now conclude that this really ain't so bad. I always did say that I wanted to find a job like that one before, where I could settle down, find time to learn and have time for myself. Well... this does indeed serve the purpose. And... I am no longer a voiceless lass... my current boss is open to little changes. It's just a matter of handling him (aha! it's a him! mayhaps that's why it makes for easier handling). As a much added bonus, I do feel that my brain is being utilised during working hours, and yes... there is a significant higher pay than two years ago (Phew!). Now, if only the colleagues aren't such "ladies" who have their noses permanently stuck up in the air or in their powder boxes, I would be quite contented indeed. Thank goodness for old lunch buddies!